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Today’s post will be a little shorter than usual. Just getting right to the point with this one.

Over the last year, I’ve learned a lot about myself. My past. My future. My present. How to live life. How to trust God. How to make sense of things that don’t make sense. How to be present. Along the way, I’ve picked up some effective ways to help me zero in on what I’m feeling and more importantly, help me say or do the next right thing. This doesn’t mean I always say or do the next right thing. But with every passing day, I get better at that.

Here are the three small phrases that are currently making a big difference in my life, and I think if you try them out, you’ll see they will make a big difference in yours as well.

1. But Why… Whatever you are thinking or feeling, whatever emotion is rising up within you,  it is the product of an unmet need and/or an unhealed wound. Usually, there are layers upon layers that we have to peel back before we get to the bottom of it. When you catch yourself overreacting to a situation or feeling something that is unsettling, or being tempted to do something that isn’t good for you, pause for a second and ask, But why?” Try to uncover what’s driving your bad mood, your craving, your unhealthy response or your negative thoughts.
2. So That… This is a powerful one. Everything happening in your life right now is under the specific instruction of a power higher than yourself. Ask what God has for you in this current situation. Whatever the trial, obstacle, adversity or suffering you find yourself in, there is a “so that” to it. I heard this phrase for the first time while attending my local church several months ago. Liked it so much, I stole it and have been using it ever since to remind me that even when I don’t understand what God is doing, there is a point to it. A bigger picture. I just have to be patient enough to let Him work.
3. And Then… I use this when faced with choices and decisions. What is the likely outcome, consequences, etc. to choosing path a over path b. If you are in pain and wanting to medicate in any way to avoid it, you must know that the pain will still be there waiting on you when you’re done, and you’ll also have the consequence of your medicine of choice (which depending on the individual ranges from alcohol to drugs to pornography to binge eating to shopping to gambling to burning hours on social media). If you respond to your current situation out of an unstable emotional state, you will damage the relationship or the scenario even further. Sometimes just being able to see the potential fallout from an unhealthy decision is enough to help you make a healthy one instead.

All three of these phrases are a part of my daily vocabulary now. I’m doing my best to be present in my decision making, in my daily actions, in my relationships, in each and every hour I’ve been blessed with from above. Too often, we go through live in reaction mode, with no real perspective on what is happening to us, why it’s happening and what will happen next. Practice these three phrases for a week, each and every time you get the opportunity, and I bet you feel better equipped to deal with your life in a positive way.