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Today’s post will be a little shorter than usual. Just getting right to the point with this one.
Over the last year, I’ve learned a lot about myself. My past. My future. My present. How to live life. How to trust God. How to make sense of things that don’t make sense. How to be present. Along the way, I’ve picked up some effective ways to help me zero in on what I’m feeling and more importantly, help me say or do the next right thing. This doesn’t mean I always say or do the next right thing. But with every passing day, I get better at that.
Here are the three small phrases that are currently making a big difference in my life, and I think if you try them out, you’ll see they will make a big difference in yours as well.
- But Why… Whatever you are thinking or feeling, whatever emotion is rising up within you, it is the product of an unmet need and/or an unhealed wound. Usually, there are layers upon layers that we have to peel back before we get to the bottom of it. When you catch yourself overreacting to a situation or feeling something that is unsettling, or being tempted to do something that isn’t good for you, pause for a second and ask, But why?” Try to uncover what’s driving your bad mood, your craving, your unhealthy response or your negative thoughts.
- So That… This is a powerful one. Everything happening in your life right now is under the specific instruction of a power higher than yourself. Ask what God has for you in this current situation. Whatever the trial, obstacle, adversity or suffering you find yourself in, there is a “so that” to it. I heard this phrase for the first time while attending my local church several months ago. Liked it so much, I stole it and have been using it ever since to remind me that even when I don’t understand what God is doing, there is a point to it. A bigger picture. I just have to be patient enough to let Him work.
- And Then… I use this when faced with choices and decisions. What is the likely outcome, consequences, etc. to choosing path a over path b. If you are in pain and wanting to medicate in any way to avoid it, you must know that the pain will still be there waiting on you when you’re done, and you’ll also have the consequence of your medicine of choice (which depending on the individual ranges from alcohol to drugs to pornography to binge eating to shopping to gambling to burning hours on social media). If you respond to your current situation out of an unstable emotional state, you will damage the relationship or the scenario even further. Sometimes just being able to see the potential fallout from an unhealthy decision is enough to help you make a healthy one instead.
All three of these phrases are a part of my daily vocabulary now. I’m doing my best to be present in my decision making, in my daily actions, in my relationships, in each and every hour I’ve been blessed with from above. Too often, we go through live in reaction mode, with no real perspective on what is happening to us, why it’s happening and what will happen next. Practice these three phrases for a week, each and every time you get the opportunity, and I bet you feel better equipped to deal with your life in a positive way.
I have an incredibly important decision for you to make today. Are you going to be an orange, or an onion?
To be fair, you probably will need some context to appropriately answer this question. So, let’s start with a brief download on the relevant qualities of, and key differences between, oranges and onions.
An orange has a colorful, durable outer layer. Some find it extremely difficult to fully remove an orange’s peel, leaving some to even proclaim oranges are not worth the trouble it takes to eat one. Onions, on the other hand, have a very thin outer layer that doesn’t really preclude you from seeing what’s likely to be inside. It’s very thin, and peels off nice and easy, offering little resistance as you try to open it up.
Once inside, an orange is pretty straight forward. You’ve got your slices and some strings and a few seeds, maybe. Once you’ve broken through the exterior, you have a full view. Onions are a bit more complicated. You just keep peeling back layer, after layer, after layer. It seems you never get all the way to through an onion. It has so much more depth.
An orange tastes nice and sweet and refreshing. It offends only the most picky of people. It can easily be overpowered in smoothie mixes. While an onion, well, it is a force to be reckoned with. It can bring tears to your eyes, burning little daggers of tears. It has a smell and taste that is bold and not everyone is on board with it.
An orange doesn’t really do much for other foods. It sort of does its own thing. Sure it can have an impact on things such as water, but it’s not a food you would use to bring out the best in other foods. Onions are different. They pull flavor out of the foods they touch. They enhance the aroma and the taste of many dishes.
Spiritually speaking, we all have a choice to make. Are we going to be like the orange, or like the onion?
If you are an orange, you look something like this. You wear masks almost always. You have a tough outer shell that is hard to break through, and even if someone is able to penetrate it, all they will find is sugary sweetness. You’ve buried the rest so deep within yourself that it might as well be undetectable. You don’t offend. You don’t really stand for anything. You avoid conflict. And you don’t really have any kind of big impact on those around you. You just look for people who are content to sit in a bowl of fruit and look pretty, while hoping no one will want to squeeze you.
Meanwhile, the onions among us are very different. If you are an onion, your outer shell is transparent and thin, as if you are inviting people to see through and into you. The more someone gets to know you, the more layers they peel through and the more truth they see. You are a story with many chapters, and you don’t mind sharing every single one of them. You are powerful and bold, and way too honest for many people. You sometimes find that you have made someone uncomfortable because you refuse to be an orange like they are. On the other hand, you also positively impact many others and infuse their life with new hope and passion. You make them better, just because you share a small piece of yourself with them.
I’ve been an orange a lot longer than I’ve been an onion. And let me tell you. Being either is painful in this life. But only one has the potential to deliver you and to reveal God’s promises to you. I’ll let you guess which one that is.
*Writer’s note. Of course this metaphor is flawed, like most metaphors. Please don’t get hung up on any slight inaccuracies to the physical characteristics of onions and oranges. If you do, I commend you on your knowledge of round foods, but I am sad because you missed the entire point of this blog post. 🙂
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