Right Here, Right Now

June 16, 2010 in Relationship | Leave a comment

There we were, hemmed in the corner of a music joint downtown, which at capacity probably holds 75 people. Appropriately called The Basement, it was darkly lit and homey, a small stage front and center. Posters of shows gone by stapled to the ceiling amidst the ducts and piping. An eclectic mix of Nashville natives hungry perched and waiting for original tunes.

I was there to see an old friend perform, and I dragged a couple of guys with me, promising them the band was “folksy” and sounded “a lot like Johnny Cash.” Somewhere along the way, my friend had taken a left turn musically and gone hard rock on me. Needless to say, he and the band did NOT sound like Johnny Cash. Apologies again to my friends for false advertising. But that’s not the reason for the post.

 

Before the second coming of Johnny Cash took the stage, we had the pleasure of hearing a trio of brazen youngsters who were playing their very first set ever. They cranked up their introductory song, which posed the question, “Is my Jesus gonna come back?”

I laughed inside. Surprised to hear from God in a place like that. Late on a Saturday night, jamming to local talent in a basement. And there He was. As the band played, reciting the question time and again, it got me thinking. There is so much focus on the second coming, the return of Christ. Experts try to predict it. We debate whether signs of the end times are upon us. We talk about it in church.

It makes it easy to forget that the Jesus we worship isn’t just up and out there somewhere. He’s right here with us. For me, I too frequently scan the skies for a glimpse of Him, pray upward to Heaven like it will take the world’s tallest elevator to deliver the message. I create the fallacy in my mind that this is only a long-distance relationship.

We serve a living God. And yes, there will be a second coming.

In the meantime, we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that just because He is coming back doesn’t mean He ever left.

It’s a paradox that gets misconstrued far too often.

We can look fondly to a day when we are reunited with our savior. But we shouldn’t overlook the fact that He is walking beside us in the meantime and that we don’t have to wait for “the return” to have “the relationship.” We serve a living God. We serve a relevant God. We serve a present God. And evidently, we serve a God who will even hang with us on a Saturday night to catch some live rock music.

Right here. Right now. Ironically Jesus Jones sings that song. It’s true of that other Jesus as well. He’s right here. Right now.

Tempted Much?

June 10, 2010 in Sin | 2 comments

Ever since Adam and Eve, temptation has been a crushing device for the devil. It is a wildly effective technique because it plays so well to our human nature. (Mark 14:38 – The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak.) I see temptation in my own life, of course. And I see it clearly in the lives of those around me. It really doesn’t matter your struggle: Alcohol. Depression. Anger. Drugs. Sex. Lying. Cheating. Chocolate Cake. Country Music. There are shades of temptation to match any weakness you have. You can count on it.

And while temptation can take me down before I know what hit me a great deal of the time, I am convinced that in the end, it is a gift from God.  Because, while God doesn’t tempt, he doesn’t prevent it either. And by allowing us to face our own humanity, to wage our own wars (with His support) and to wrestle with our own personal struggles, He provides the opportunity for us to grow in Him.

James 1:12 -15 –  Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been proved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. When desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

Temptation is a useful diagnostic tool. It is the first sign something is wrong. that something deep inside is bubbling up. It is a symptom with a root cause. It shows you a reflection. We shouldn’t view it as the problem itself. We should look harder for what facilitates the internal urge that leads us to be tempted in the first place.

Temptation is also an opportunity for us to develop perseverance. To sharpen our sword. To further our faith. To make Satan flee. It provides us with opportunities to lean on God and to see Him deliver. To build our resolve. To defy gravity.

1 Corinthians 10: 13 – No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Temptation is a commonplace burden. We all face it. We all fail.  To quote the great slugger/philosopher Yogi Berra, “If the fans don’t come out to the ball park, you can’t stop them.” I translate that to mean that there will be some battles you don’t win. Don’t let the losses influence you more than the victories.  

Obviously, if you don’t handle temptation well, you will find yourself quickly drifting away from God’s Will. The burden of sin will grow. And ironically, the temptations will fade. At the point where you are fully committed to a specific sin, there is no need for you to be tempted, now is there? When sin is “full-grown” it doesn’t require nurturing.

So with that frame of mind, you should be welcoming of the temptation. It means you’re likely headed in the right direction and that you have been deemed worthy of battle by your maker. There is a struggle with a sin within you, and you are being presented with an opportunity to stamp it out. May your next battle be a victory!

Wounded? Expose, Embrace, Exploit

June 9, 2010 in Purpose, Relationship, Sin | Leave a comment

I’ve been working on this post for a few weeks now. It’s been exceptionally hard to successfully fight for 15 minutes of uninterrupted writing time. Finally, I’m here. The good news is that God has continued to reinforce this content with me several times. It seems I’m exposed almost daily to a quote or situation or song where this is the featured subject matter. It’s like He doesn’t want me to forget the topic at hand before I sit down to capture it in written word. He knows me all too well.

We all have wounds. Delivered to us at an early age. Dug deeper over time and with experience. They run to the bone. They bleed. The real problem is we are experts at self medication. We cover these wounds. We numb the pain. We distract ourselves from them until we no longer can feel the gaping, gushing hole. Until we no longer even acknowledge they are part of who we are.

I’m learning that it is much better to expose wounds. It’s not always the best practice for physical ailments, but when it comes to spiritual aches, band aids and wraps and medicines only infect and disease. They cause wounds to fester. If we fail to expose our wounds to our consciousness and air them out, they will produce emotions that take over. Emotions require energy to sustain themselves. They feed off actions and reactions. This generates sin. It’s really a vicious cycle.

I unintentionally put my family in danger recently because of this very thing. I have a wound. I’ve discussed it before. It has everything to do with not measuring up. Needing validation. When I allow myself to suppress that wound, bury it, temporarily put it out of my consciousness, I breed emotions that demand actions to thrive. Those actions can range from shouting to outbursts to tears to self deprecating humor. I magnify obstacles and build mountains out of mole hills.

On the day in question, I freaked out just a bit about being late (mostly because of a string of dumb mistakes on my part) and made a few ill-advised maneuvers on the road in our swagger wagon (which is code for mini van. you must watch this video: http://tiny.cc/6b70p). In the process I found myself in a situation where a very scary guy was attempting to follow us home to enact revenge for my temporary NASCARlepsy.  For just a moment, I let rage consume me. And I put myself and my family in potential danger. If you suppress your wounds, you make them impact you more deeply. And they can set snowballs into motion that have the potential to generate avalanches.

If we maintain our awareness of the wounds we have, and the likely emotions that result, we can prevent some of the negative scenarios from playing out, or at least react and respond better amidst an emotional flare up.  We’ll understand the cause of what we’re feeling and see more clearly how to positively impact the effect.

James 1:23-24 – Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror. And, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

We have to be self-aware. We have to expose and embrace our wounds. Keep them top of mind so that we can readily understand the emotions when they present themselves. If you name your wound and keep it present in your mind, you limit the power it can hold over you.

Conversely, I’ve also been told by God in COUNTLESS ways as of late, that my wound can actually be my weapon.

I was recently in church for the first time in six weeks. Immediately, the worship leader shouted from the stage, “Our ministry can come from our misery.”

Shortly afterward, we sang a song called Beautiful Things (http://tiny.cc/t7se7).  Talk about powerful. There is a line in the song that asks, “Could a garden come up from this ground?” Of course the answer is yes. As the chorus goes…”You make beautiful things out of the dust. Beautiful things out of us.” This preceded a sermon on using spiritual gifts.

About the same time, a new friend shared a quote from Robert Bly on my blog in response to an earlier post I had written: “Where a man’s wound is, there he will find his genius.” 

And finally, just last night, I was reminded that my deepest wound can and will be my gold, my gift, my genius. Basically, God has stopped just short of renting out one of those billboards where He writes in white against a black background and offers a pithy quote. I thought I should go ahead and get this post up before He blew any of His advertising budget on me.

So I leave you with a few questions that I’ve begun asking myself. What sins are you feeding your emotions? What wounds are causing those emotions? What would it take for you to starve the emotions and remove the sin? How can you make this very thing in your life that breeds negativity and transform it into a positive and powerful force?

It’s a simple, three-step process. First, expose your wounds. Then, embrace your wounds. And finally, exploit your wounds for the genius they hold inside. Let your misery become your ministry.

Choking on Weeds

May 28, 2010 in Sin | Leave a comment

I was working in the backyard last week, weeding flowerbeds. There was a plant in a tangled mess, intertwined with a clump of weeds, fighting for its life, being choked slowly to death. There was only room for one set of roots, and I noticed that as usual, the weeds were choking the plant and not the other way around. Seems clear from this picture of nature that we need to clear out the weeds before we can grow. We need to remove one set of roots to make room for the other. And even then, we have to continually maintain.

I believe there are areas of your life where you can slowly work over time to get them right. Just pull a weed or two here and there. Everything will work out fine. In other areas of your life, possibly in places where you struggle the most, you almost have to put two fists into the dirt and unearth the evil, get it caked under your fingernails, paper cuts on your fingers, dirt and mulch pushed deeply into the cracks of your hands, arthritic throbbing in your knuckles and joints as you ache in your back and fight a searing burn on the back of our neck from the sun. In these areas, where sin is intertwined with hope and darkness is running amok over light, where good is being choked by evil, you have to make room for the right kind of roots.

If you’re like me, you tend to get tired or uninterested and start breaking the tops off the weeds without digging out the roots. This is only a temporary fix, a momentary illusion that all is well. Meanwhile, the roots of the weeds get stronger and take a deeper hold. It’s much harder work to pull the weeds up from the roots. But the payoff is far greater. The quality of your garden is far greater. The long-term value is far greater. I wrote earlier this week about creating space. Giving something away to receive something greater. This is the reason that concept is so important. It’s not just that you won’t receive greater blessings. If you fail to remove the “old toys” you clutter your conscience.  There’s only room for one set of roots. And if you leave it up to nature to choose a survivor, you will be defeated. 

Creating Space

May 26, 2010 in Relationship, Sin | Leave a comment

A few days after the Nashville flood, my five-year old approached me and said, “Daddy, can we give toys to the other little boys who got all the water?”

“How cool is that?” I thought to myself.  My kid is volunteering to give away some of his toys to flood victims. So, we rounded up a small box of toys and set it on the counter to take to the church.

Later that afternoon, we were in Target, and my son took my hand and led me toward the toy aisles. He told me we needed to get more toys because he gave his away. A ha! Ulterior motive. At five! New toys for old toys. That is a smooth move.

His heart was actually in the right place. And although he missed the point in the end, he was on to something. He was making room for better things. Old toys for new ones. Giving something that might be perceived as good to create space for something great. Okay, it’s not the best approach for charitable actions, but it is how I need to approach my walk.

God has asked me countless times to let go of certain things in my life. To make space. To make some sacrifices. And in return, he promises something so much better. Something great for something “good” that might not even be all that good anyway. And yet, like most, I grip tightly to my old toys, I pull them in close, I hover over them and slap away anyone who would encroach. Meanwhile, the one who approaches is simply trying to trade out the old ones for shiny new ones. Something of greater value. Much greater value.

Do you have any old toys lying around? If so, pack them up, move them out and make some space. See what God puts in their place. I bet it is much better.  As for my toddler, he didn’t get any new toys at Target. And we never got around to dropping off the old toys for donation. That feels really familiar to me. Getting as close as boxing up the old stuff, but not quite getting it out the door. Being so close to the new toys, yet so far away from bringing them home. Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity to create some space for God to work, to clear out the old and make room for the new. To receive so much more than I give. All I have to do is let go, and let God.

“A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.” – Proverbs 17:14

The Power of Re

May 18, 2010 in Journey, Sin | Leave a comment

Anyone who has spent 5 minutes in a corporate setting has had to call the “help desk” for computer issues. And anyone who has had to call the “help desk” for computer issues can predict with 100 percent accuracy the very first thing the “help desk” will ask you, no matter what issue you are trying to fix. Say it with me…Have you tried rebooting?

As much as I make fun of “help desks” the whole rebooting thing is actually pretty good advice. Sometimes it is needed in our spiritual walk as well.  Sometimes disruptive change is required to force us from deeply dug ruts. Sometimes we just need to reset and start over. Clean the system and power back up. Computers usually respond well to the rebooting process. They run better, faster, etc. It only stands to reason that we function more optimally as well when we press the restart button on our walk. I know it has worked well for me. It helps us break free from the same old infinite and repetitive loop of failure. A clean slate can be  an inspiring, motivating thing.

Sometimes, instead of rebooting (or in addition to it), we need to rewire. Change the circuitry inside our machine to bypass our transgressions.

In one of Aesop’s Fables (The Fox and the Lion), the moral of the story is that “acquaintance with evil blinds us to its dangers. ” We grow numb to the action. It hurts less, carries less guilt, generates less remorse, every time we repeat the same sin. We also begin to distance ourselves from the consequences. We begin to dismiss the odds of serious repercussions occurring as a result of our actions. We develop a habit, form an allegiance, firmly attach the vice to our daily lives. After a while, we are incapable of thinking or acting differently.

The psychological term neuroplasticity suggests that, even as adults, learning and re-wiring of the brain can happen through changes in the strength of connections, by adding or removing connections or by adding new cells. This is great news because it means we have an innate ability to literally change our minds. Not suggesting it is easy, but if we can reconfigure our thoughts to join our actions more closely to their potential consequences and to alter the auto pilot nature of sin, we greatly increase our chances of replacing the habits of worldly man with the pursuits of a Godly one.

So reboot, rewire, restart. There is great power in the re.

Leaning In

May 16, 2010 in Faith, Obedience | Leave a comment

A friend of mine recently described the changes he had made with how he handles relationships, saying that in his past he would lean back and make people pursue him, but now he leans in and does the pursuing himself. Back to that quote in a moment.  

I am a man of action. That’s what I’m telling myself. It’s still a new state of mind for me. A different way of approaching things. But I’ve been concerned about my self-perceived lack of action to back up the declaration. In James, which is a great book for understanding how to be a man of action, it clearly states that faith without works is dead. I’ve read that before. My literal translation has been a bit off though.

Back to my friend’s quote. Leaning in. That is action in itself. I’ve been holding myself accountable for not having executed physical actions that back up my faith. Thinking the lack of such actions means I’m not making progress in my faith. But I have been leaning in. I have been in pursuit. I’ve been obedient in areas where I’ve long ignored the call of God. I’ve repaired my relationship with my wife. I’ve stepped out and made myself vulnerable, trusting that God would deliver. I’ve committed to this blog. I’ve been taking action. And eventually, that action will show itself in a more tangible outward way, but for the moment, it’s important I see the power of the progress I’ve made. I’m not getting it all right, all the time. But my batting average is waaaaaay up from just six months ago.

Our natural tendency as humans is to lean back instead of leaning in. The problem with that is we have no power when we’re leaning back. Strength comes from leaning in. If you are trying to move a heavy object, win a fist fight, advance against resistance, do you lean in or back? Leaning in is about motion, about action. It’s also about intention and investment. If you want to gauge whether someone is truly interested and in the conversation you are having, simply watch their body language. Are they leaning in toward you? If yes, they are invested. Are they leaning back? If yes, they are creating distance between you because they are disengaged. It’s a light switch. In is on. Back is off. In has power and intention. It’s a declaration of purpose. Back is distrust, reluctance, apathy and defeat. If we only lean back, we will never move forward.

Before you can act, you have to be activated. And to be activated, you have to make the conscious decision to lean in. To get off your heels and on your toes. I can tell you from experience, it makes a difference. It doesn’t make struggles go away. It doesn’t immediately change the world around you. But it does flip the switch, illuminate your surroundings and generate momentum toward the place you want to go.

Be aware of your internal posture. Are you leaning in or leaning back?

Something to Believe In

May 11, 2010 in Faith | 1 comment

I’m still alive, but I’m barely breathin

Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in

Those lyrics kick off a new song by The Script called “Breakeven.” The first time I heard it, those words shook me. And they continue to do so each time I hear the song. Mostly because they have been so true for me at times in my life the past few years. From what I can gather, many others have been in this boat with me.

It’s not that I’ve ever doubted there was a God, that a divine power created this world and everything in it, that there is an all-knowing, all-powerful being who surrounds us. But there have been times when the sad truth of the matter is that I haven’t believed in the God I’m praying to. Deep down I was skeptical or doubtful, at some level questioning. I wasn’t even aware of it at times, but I’ve come to understand that some of the struggles I’ve endured, some of the sacrifices I’ve been unwilling or unable to make, can be traced back to a lack of believing. Praying but not really believing God would provide. Taking it on myself instead. Doubting whether I could listen to the voice I was hearing. Resisting because I didn’t fully trust Him.

As a result, I was alive but barely breathing. I definitely wasn’t thriving. I’m in a better place now, but I can still clearly remember what it felt like to wake up and discover, “I believe in God. Just not the God that I’m praying to.”

I’d like to issue a challenge. Ask yourself what you believe. Who is the God you believe in? And then ask the harder question. Why do you believe that? Until we fully answer these questions, we won’t have the foundation we need to grow in Him.

For me, most of my beliefs were shaped by early programming from family and the church, as well as past experiences.  An overwhelming minority of my truths were uncovered through walking with God and pursuing His word.  It’s amazing how much you believe because of what your parents believe, because of what your pastor believes. The problem is most of these beliefs are inherited, not internalized. They can be engrained in who you are, but it doesn’t take much to call them into question.

That’s why so many of us grapple with praying to a God we don’t believe in. When circumstances pressure test our beliefs, the inherited will fall away fast and only the internalized will remain. My journey this past year has been so valuable to me in many ways. The most important blessing has been that I am finally building my own set of beliefs and not solely relying on beliefs passed to me by others. These days, I’m alive and breathing better. And the God I pray to is a God I believe in.

In Isolation

May 5, 2010 in Journey, Relationship | 3 comments

Hello again. Miss me? I’m supposed to be feeding the lake every day this year, remember? Well, I hit quite a dry spell and allowed myself to collect dust. Luckily a flood, literally a flood, helped me get back in the flow.

I just returned from an “all in” kind of weekend. I was terribly afraid of it, feared it, dreaded it.  And that was before multiple feet of rain washed our campground away. But I committed to it and put it in God’s hands. In the process, I learned that my greatest wound is possibly my greatest weapon in the fight for God’s kingdom.

I have a need for validation, affirmation, approval. I’ve been screaming for it. I’ve struggled mightily with it. And I have let it consume me. What I learned on this weekend, as a torrential downpour pushed our group all over the Franklin area, is that this gaping hole in me has given me great compassion and insight for others. I also learned that I’m not alone.

All this time, there have been many others dealing with exactly the same kind of thing. And I was doing nothing for them. While I wallowed in self-pity about validation and affirmation, I was sharing none of it with others. I was oblivious to similar needs of people very close to me. I was boxed in, staring at my navel, contemplating why things are the way they are. Woe is me.

It’s amazing how we’re led to believe we are all alone in our struggles, like no one else is feeling the same way or wrestling with the same issues. When the truth is, no matter what you are combatting, countless other people out there share your pain. The world tries to isolate us. Just like any predator and prey situation. Think of a sheep being attacked by wolves. Think tipsy girl at a bar. The predator tries to separate us from the pack and isolate us. Prevent us from feeding on the strength and support of others. Limit our ability to empathize and share common trials.

We’re made to believe we are the only one dealing with our situation. There we are alone, left to battle the predator single-handed. All along truly believing that no one can relate to what we’re going through.

I started my journey alone. It was me and God. And that’s okay. But on this rain-soaked weekend, I learned that I can only go so far in isolation and that walking this path with others will significantly increase my chances of getting where I want to go in my trek toward a closer relationship with God.  There are people who understand my struggles. People I can help, and people who can help me.  Again, my wound can indeed be my weapon.

There is great power in numbers. I am not alone. And neither are you.  

Can Right Be Wrong?

April 23, 2010 in Obedience | Leave a comment

I’ve been wrestling with a big decision lately. Finally, I made it. And I think, I think…I THINK, I made the right decision. I’m also afraid I made it for the wrong reasons.

So, my question is this. Can right be wrong? See, I feel like I made the decision out of fear and obligation, like it was just the right thing to do, the proper next step. What if I didn’t do this? Instead of making it with anticipation of how God will use it, I made it based off my own internal emotions. If it truly is the right thing for me, what God has next for me, am I actually being obedient by saying yes even though I have these fears? Does it count as obedience if my motives are admittedly a bit off? Will God use this? I know He can, obviously. But will He?

Like I said, this seems like a decision that will benefit me, that will be good for me in my walk. I have hefty reservations. I’m nervous. Some of that is natural, I’m sure. But at what point have I made the wrong decision even though it’s the right one? I’m a big believer that the end does NOT justify the means. Which is why I’m wrestling with this choice. I’m praying that God will use this in a positive way, even if I’m backing in to it instead of forward marching. I have to trust that at some level deep within, I’m truly being drawn to this but just can’t see it because of the layers of doubt and hesitation. I’m hoping that right can’t be wrong. At least not in this case.

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