Tick Tock

February 4, 2011 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

No, I’m not about to break into a Ke$ha song. The time is winding down quickly for my writing weekend. I’m stressed. I tried not to be, but I’m placing a lot of expectations on this trip, and it has me stressed.

This is going to be an extremely short post for two reasons. 1. I don’t have a lot to say tonight, other than I’m stressed. 2. If I don’t get cracking on my to do list, my wife might block the door and make me stay home! I am such a procrastinator.

One last time, please say a prayer. I know this will be time well spent. I just need to get there and get started already!

This will be my last post before I do just that. I’ll keep you updated as the weekend goes along. (here as well as twitter @theway2there)  Hopefully with good news!

ps I don’t have anything against Ke$ha. Her songs have good beats. And the $ in her name is really clever.

Doubt, Panic, Self Hate & Writing

February 2, 2011 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Create first draft … doubt self … panic … hate self … throw out draft … rinse and repeat.

This is how a best-selling author describes the writing process he endured in his quest to become a best-selling author. A link to his story was served up to me via Twitter this morning, just two short days before my writing retreat. http://tinyurl.com/4z7b4bh

In his article, he pulls back the creative curtain and reveals just how painful and awkward and frustrating writing can be.  He argues that writers who are successful are the ones who persevere, who just keep writing no matter how bad the writing is, how hard the writing is, how fruitless it might feel. They just keep leaning in until they bust out the other side.

It was just what I needed to read.

I’ve been stressing about the weekend. Worried that I will get sick and have to miss it. Worried that I’ll come down with writer’s block and waste it. Worried that I’ll churn out 100 pages of words that will feel good in the moment but fail to inspire me when I read them again later. I’ve had doubt, panic, self hate, everything the author describes.

I am trying to take this article to heart and not place too much pressure on this weekend. Just serve it up to God and see what He does with it. It may be a powerful and positive experience. It may be a tough slog and require that I lean in.  Please pray for me that I can enter it with a calm, peaceful, focused yet relaxed mindset. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Memory Lesson: Romans 3:23

February 1, 2011 in Sin | Leave a comment

File this post under “things we all know and routinely fail to remember.”

I was reading a passage about lepers the other night, about how they were shunned and cut off from society. It got me thinking. If everyone was a leper, where would you send the lepers? That’s not a hypothetical question.

Most everyone knows Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There’s another verse I like a lot that speaks to me in a similar fashion: Hebrews 13:3 – Remember the prisoners as if chained with them, and those who are mistreated, since you yourselves are in the body also.

We are all in the body. We’ve all been prisoners. We shouldn’t shun someone when they are struggling, whether because of sin or an unfortunate situation. Quite the opposite. We should empathize. Remember how it felt when we were in those chains. Lift them up, and hope they do the same for us the next time we need it.

It’s easy to throw stones from our glass houses. To rank sins on a high to low scale. To judge. To do nothing because we are uncomfortable and don’t  know what to say. Or run in fear. To deny or ignore that we are all plagued with some form of this disease. That we share these chains. And that we can help each other break them.

Momentum

January 30, 2011 in Journey, Obedience, Purpose, Witness | Leave a comment

It was another typical Sunday morning. Best of intentions to find a new church home. Lots of reasons why it wasn’t a good day to start the hunt. Both of our kids were getting over illnesses, and it didn’t feel exactly right to unleash them on an entire children’s ministry.

After a lengthy debate, my wife and I decided to go and settle in with the boys on the back row of Rolling Hills Community Church. We hoped we could at least make it through half the service. We worried we might be a disruptive force.

I was feeling overly compelled to attend the service, to the point where I was pacing and getting anxious at the prospect of us not making the trip. As it turns out, God had quite a bit to share with me this morning, which explains the ants in my pants.

I’ve been writing and praying a lot about momentum lately, as I prepare for the weekend writing retreat that is supposed to kick my book into high gear. And wouldn’t you know it, today’s sermon was the grand finale of a series titled MOMENTUM. I suppose that was just God’s way of saying, “Welcome back to my house!”

I heard God’s voice throughout the entire message. Loud. Clear. Direct. It literally could not have been a more timely and tailored discussion for me. The focus was on sharing momentum with the world around you. The pastor talked about not keeping the momentum you’ve built all to yourself but opening it up to others and being a spark, an agent of change.  

Internally, I’ve been wrestling with this very issue. Ok, great, so I’ve decided that I will write this book. That I will actually finish this book. I have tried not to think too much about what happens next, because it will almost surely require that I get uncomfortable and stretch myself.  When I do catch myself thinking about next steps, I just start second guessing whether I’m writing something that will actually make a difference at all. Will it only be something that I can say I’ve done? That seems shallow, hallow, almost pointless. I want to be a spark. An agent of change.

As the sermon started, we had managed to occupy most of the back row, sprawled out with an impressive collection of diversionary tactics  – crayons, iphone, blackberry, chocolate. The kiddos were shockingly well-behaved, thank you Angry Birds and Brick Breaker, which allowed me to focus as God continued to nudge me. With almost every statement, question, insight the pastor shared, God would break a piece off and hand it to me. Among the deliveries were the following:

Helping others get going. Pushing them through inertia. Restarting them. How do we become that kind of person?

Are you reaching out?

Time to stand up. Get off the sidelines.

Be faithful. Be steadfast.

Don’t be distracted.

Live His will.

Any idea what obedience could mean?

What it could lead to?

How do you share?

What is God calling you to do?

And finally, the big one.

ARE YOU READY?

At this point, I felt God so strongly the building could have rumbled, and I would not have been surprised. I’ve written several posts in the past about feeling that God wanted me to be patient, that I wasn’t ready yet. Now, suddenly, it wasn’t a statement any longer. It was a question. Are you ready? Even the way the pastor delivered the question felt like a direct message intended only for me. I got chills.

I said yes beneath my breath and gulped. I’m ready. For what? Great question. I’ll tell you when I know. But for now, I’m ready. I have my momentum for the weekend. God is speaking to me. I’m ready.

We’re All Seekers

January 29, 2011 in General | Leave a comment

This Sunday marks the end of a long string of absences from church for my family. As I’ve mentioned several times previously, we’ve been debating where to attend, struggling to find a “good fit” for us. After all this time, we’re headed back to a congregation that I’ve felt God pulling me toward for months. Why didn’t I just listen already? Please don’t ask me questions you know I can’t answer!

Part of the challenge, at least for me, in this process is that so many churches now declare themselves “seeker friendly.” One article I found suggests more than 40,000 churches consider themselves built for seekers, those who are open to the idea of God but haven’t yet established a relationship with Him. I have a few basic problems with churches that overly gear themselves toward seekers. Please pause while I climb atop my soapbox.

First, they err on the side of entertainment instead of education. I love a good worship service as much as the next guy, and I want to be inspired and motivated and engaged while I’m at church, but I also want growth and authenticity. In my experience, it’s way too easy to throw that out the window in an attempt to make seekers feel more welcome.

Secondly, it feels like the best way to woo seekers into the Christian family would be to show them what it is genuinely all about. You don’t have to water it down or put on your performance face. Let them truly see God at work, and that will speak volumes. There is nothing more captivating than that. Show them that broken people are welcome. That they can be redeemed. That God can not only heal wounds but use them for His kingdom.

Finally, why aren’t more of us up in arms about the way seekers are being defined? Shouldn’t we all consider ourselves seekers? Aren’t we all seeking a deeper relationship with God, more truth, more communion, more understanding and intimacy. You don’t just “find God” and then stop seeking. You don’t get converted from a seeker to a believer and then rot in a pew. Pursuing God is a lifelong endeavor, so reserving the term seeker to label those who haven’t even fully taken up that pursuit seems unfortunate and shortsighted to me.

With all that said, I do understand the need for the church to be culturally relevant and appealing. I get that. I like that, to an extent. I am a consumer, just like everyone else. I’ve proven lately to be too much of a consumer, thus my aforementioned extended absence from church. I just get a little sideways when I see churches expend so much energy attracting new recruits, potentially at the expense of those who are already signed up for the program and in need of depth and growth. Who still have a lot of seeking of their own to do.

I hope this doesn’t cause you to question my desire to lead others to Christ. I do believe that is a priority for all of us individually, and for the church collectively. I also hope this doesn’t make you think I’m a throw back conservative who wants to do things such as restricting instruments to the standard issue organ and piano. Please no. Rock the stage! Drums. Bass. Horns. I want it all.

But do it all in authenticity. And do it with a balance of helping seekers of all stages and walks. And do it in a way that builds a community where Christ followers can support one another in daily growth, not just a cool hang where the music is fresh and the speaker is snappy and the faces are pretty and smiling.

65,000 Words Later

January 28, 2011 in Journey | Leave a comment

This time next week, my weekend writing retreat will be underway. I’m really excited, because the last time I devoted a weekend to hearing from God, he did 5 years worth of work in me. I’m trying not to expect anything specific in terms of what I will accomplish. It will be about growth, healing, relationship, and then possibly some meaningful translation onto the page. The important thing is that I’m setting the time aside for Him to work on me, in me. Time where I can be at rest, still, distracted by nothing.

Approximately 120 posts and 65,000 words ago, I began this blog. Looking back over what God has shared with me during this time, I’m amazed by the endless ways He has shown up to guide me and provide me with clarity. The ways He has pulled from my distant past and my everyday struggles to reveal more and more and more of who He is and what He wants from me.

I continue to hope and pray that this resonates beyond my own circumstance, but at the very least, this has been God’s way of communion with me, and for that I am thankful.

The countdown continues. SEVEN short days!

God is a Swiss Army Knife

January 28, 2011 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Yes, this is like my fourth post today. When it rains, it pours I suppose. Sorry, too much caffeine and stress paired with not enough sleep. It makes my fingers twitch almost as much as my eyes.

I’ve been chewing on the following passage for a while, letting it settle in with me. Thought I’d share it.

Psalm 31 and 35 talk about the Lord as a fortress and as an avenger. For me, there’s a great picture of God that unfolds. The passages tell of how the Lord will rescue you, fight for you, protect you, strengthen you, hide you, set you, prepare you. When I boil it down, it says this to me:

God redeems in three simple steps.

1. He rescues you from whatever you need to be rescued from, lifting you from danger to safety. 

2. Then He secures and stabilizes you, positioning you for the long run.

3. And then, He actively defends you and protects the investment He has made in you.

We serve an incredibly versatile God, with the tenderness to comfort us and the wildness to go into battle for us. The next time you’re doubting whether you can turn to God with something, remember this picture. He truly is everything we need Him to be, and more.

Last post for today. Promise. I’ve put down the coffee as well. Just to be sure.

On Empty

January 27, 2011 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Ruth 1:21 – I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty.

I’ve been thinking a lot about brokenness, and the power I’ve seen in that. The redemption God has shown me in the lives of those around me. I’ve thought more about the concept of making space for God to work. How when I’m running on empty, He always seems to refuel me in a unique and special way.

This passage from Ruth keeps popping in my head. This was the voice of Naomi, who at the time had lost her husband and two sons and was so distraught by the turns her life had taken, she was asking people not to call her Naomi but to use a different name because the Lord had testified against her and afflicted her.

As the rest of her life unfolded, she continued a lineage that eventually gave the world David, one of the central figures in the history of our walk on Earth. She may have been empty at one point, but God refilled her. Overflowed her. And it spilled into future generations. It’s still running.

The Lord brought her home empty, because He needed room for the future blessings.

We consider positive people to be those who see the glass as half full. That’s just like us, isn’t it? Striving to focus on what we’ve still got, instead of considering what we lost and why. The power comes when you realize the significance of the glass being half empty and the promise that it will be refilled. Maybe even overflowing.  The next time you’re broken, suffering loss or feeling empty, hold tightly to your glass. Have faith that God simply needed space to fill it again. That as His plan unfolds, even the most painful of losses and the most empty vessels can bring about greatness and fullness beyond your comprehension.

Pushing Through the Pain

January 27, 2011 in Obedience, Sin | Leave a comment

My wife is a popper.

Of zits, that is.

My zits to be specific.

If I get one on my back or shoulder, she will literally tackle me, try to pin me down and pop it. Just a gross and unexplainable hobby of hers. Obviously the zit needs popping. And it’s not like I can use my go go gadget arms to reach it. But oh the pain! Maybe that’s why she likes to do it.

For those of you who have never struggled with acne, let me provide you with some context before I go further. I’m something of an expert. In junior high, I had a slight pimple problem. After being nuked from the inside with medication that is now banned from stores (thanks mom and dad), I was able to rid myself of most of the unwanted visitors on my face. Years later, I do still have the occasional acne sighting.

When you try to pop a zit, it hurts, and the closer you get to popping it the more it hurts. It’s an intense, searing pain that builds, until suddenly, the pressure is gone. Finally, I’m going to get to the point here. Sin is the same. As you try to address your personal demons, they will get louder and claw and bite and fight. Just before you break through, it will hurt like hell. And then … relief.

The problem is most of us turn around and retreat to numbness and comfort instead of pushing through the pain. We let the sin fester beneath the surface, allowing it to grow bigger and stronger, risking infection and further complications.

When you choose to engage sin, it hurts. We just have to be prepared to push, push, push through it.  

I guess when it comes down to it, I’m a popper too!

Believe That

January 27, 2011 in Faith, Witness | Leave a comment

Belief is such a mysterious process. We get so deeply rooted with our own and so closed off to the beliefs of others. We demand definitive proof and logic from others, but will battle to the grave for truths we hold sacred with absolutely no back up or rational evidence. Or even a well-constructed reasoning for why we believe it.

I’ve caught myself recently on the verge of prejudice when encountering beliefs that were different from my own. It makes me pause, because I’m pretty sure I don’t have it all figured out. That none of us do. And, I don’t want to close myself off from fresh thinking and outside perspectives. That’s what growth is all about. Being able to examine and reflect and consider other points of view help you better define your own. To grow deeper roots.

I also think it is important to keep in context what it is like for others who encounter us as Christians. We are many times too quick to question their belief systems and wonder in amazement how they could believe some of the things they believe. And even more so, how they could not believe in the God we love and follow. But just stop for a second and imagine what it must be like for people who didn’t grow up like me, in a church home, in a church community, on the buckle of the Bible Belt with messages of God and Jesus in surround sound. Here’s a good example. This quote comes from Roger, an extraterrestrial from an unnamed world who regularly makes appearances on the animated shows American Dad and Family Guy.

“I love your religion for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It’s like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music” – Roger

I don’t recall the specific episode or even which show the quote was from, but that’s really not all that necessary for the point I’m making. The quote is funny and sad at the same time. Belief is a stretch. There are days when I have a hard time truly believing, despite being a card-carrying member of the Lifetime Christian Club. So, yes, when you lay out the storyline, it must be incredibly difficult for someone experiencing it for the first time to immediately accept.

So, my point is two-fold. First, know what you believe but be open and understanding of belief systems that are foreign or even contradictory to your own. And secondly, always remember that your beliefs will seem less of a stretch to you than they will to others, simply because you’ve already examined, accepted and processed them for yourself. Roger that?

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