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It was another typical Sunday morning. Best of intentions to find a new church home. Lots of reasons why it wasn’t a good day to start the hunt. Both of our kids were getting over illnesses, and it didn’t feel exactly right to unleash them on an entire children’s ministry.
After a lengthy debate, my wife and I decided to go and settle in with the boys on the back row of Rolling Hills Community Church. We hoped we could at least make it through half the service. We worried we might be a disruptive force.
I was feeling overly compelled to attend the service, to the point where I was pacing and getting anxious at the prospect of us not making the trip. As it turns out, God had quite a bit to share with me this morning, which explains the ants in my pants.
I’ve been writing and praying a lot about momentum lately, as I prepare for the weekend writing retreat that is supposed to kick my book into high gear. And wouldn’t you know it, today’s sermon was the grand finale of a series titled MOMENTUM. I suppose that was just God’s way of saying, “Welcome back to my house!”
I heard God’s voice throughout the entire message. Loud. Clear. Direct. It literally could not have been a more timely and tailored discussion for me. The focus was on sharing momentum with the world around you. The pastor talked about not keeping the momentum you’ve built all to yourself but opening it up to others and being a spark, an agent of change.
Internally, I’ve been wrestling with this very issue. Ok, great, so I’ve decided that I will write this book. That I will actually finish this book. I have tried not to think too much about what happens next, because it will almost surely require that I get uncomfortable and stretch myself. When I do catch myself thinking about next steps, I just start second guessing whether I’m writing something that will actually make a difference at all. Will it only be something that I can say I’ve done? That seems shallow, hallow, almost pointless. I want to be a spark. An agent of change.
As the sermon started, we had managed to occupy most of the back row, sprawled out with an impressive collection of diversionary tactics – crayons, iphone, blackberry, chocolate. The kiddos were shockingly well-behaved, thank you Angry Birds and Brick Breaker, which allowed me to focus as God continued to nudge me. With almost every statement, question, insight the pastor shared, God would break a piece off and hand it to me. Among the deliveries were the following:
Helping others get going. Pushing them through inertia. Restarting them. How do we become that kind of person?
Are you reaching out?
Time to stand up. Get off the sidelines.
Be faithful. Be steadfast.
Don’t be distracted.
Live His will.
Any idea what obedience could mean?
What it could lead to?
How do you share?
What is God calling you to do?
And finally, the big one.
ARE YOU READY?
At this point, I felt God so strongly the building could have rumbled, and I would not have been surprised. I’ve written several posts in the past about feeling that God wanted me to be patient, that I wasn’t ready yet. Now, suddenly, it wasn’t a statement any longer. It was a question. Are you ready? Even the way the pastor delivered the question felt like a direct message intended only for me. I got chills.
I said yes beneath my breath and gulped. I’m ready. For what? Great question. I’ll tell you when I know. But for now, I’m ready. I have my momentum for the weekend. God is speaking to me. I’m ready.
Work stresses me out. Just did it again today as I was headed to write this post. So fitting and poignant. And frustrating. I know that when I allow work to overflow and affect other areas of my life that I’m missing the point. That I’ve lost my focus. That I am allowing my pride and my selfish nature to control my emotions and thoughts. Letting vanity reign supreme.
Ecclesiastes talks a lot about vanity, many times over stating that is like “grasping for the wind.” Several verses discuss this hollow pursuit.
Ecclesiastes 1:7 – All the rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 – Whatever my eyes desired, I did not keep from them…my heart rejoiced in all my labor…I looked on all the works my hands had done…and indeed it was all vanity…There was no profit under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 6:7 – All the labor of man is for his mouth, and yet the soul is not satisfied.
Under the bright and cheery header of “Death Comes to All” it says in Ecclesiastes 9:11, 12 that:
The race is not to the swift,
nor the battle to the strong,
nor bread to the wise,
nor riches to men of understanding,
nor favor to men of skill,
But time and chance happen to them all.
For man also does not know his time:
Like fish taken in a cruel net,
Like birds caught in a snare,
So the sons of men are snared in an evil time,
When if falls suddenly upon them.
So, in other words, this pursuit of vanity is always in vain. It’s an empty, hollow, unresolved, meaningless voyage that has no validity or payoff or satisfaction in it whatsoever. Even with all that, it is so appealing and attractive. So dangerous. So easily turned destructive in times of prosperity as well as persecution. One more from Ecclesiastes:
Ecclesiastes 6:8,9 – For what more has the wise man than the fool. What does the poor man have, who knows how to walk before the living? Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire.
Wow, that says it all. Knowing how to walk before the living. With purpose. With strength. With resolve. With focus. Not waging a never-ending battle or filling a bottomless pit. Not chasing the invisible. Not grasping for the wind but pushing through it.
A colleague of mine at work, who is having to deal with many of the same issues that are causing me to stress to the point I can feel my hair tingle and my face twitch, shared this passage with me (and a few other people) surprisingly enough in the middle of a meeting. I was happy to see God interjecting. I needed it. She quoted Romans 5:3-4, which states, “…we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
As with most things, it boils down to perspective. When vanity reigns, I lose perspective of what’s truly important, and I make mountains out of mole hills. I’m doing that in my head even as I type this. Tribulations strike, and instead of me examining what I can learn from them, I get defensive, or sad, or mad, or defeated, or depressed, or vengeful, or spastic.
If I were to be a poor man who knew how to walk before the living, I would respond much different to adversity and chaos and discomfort. I wouldn’t hold up success in vanity and grasp at the wind. I wouldn’t feel defeated when I feel like I’m losing my grip on the wind. I would fill my hands with what’s important and possibly even pass it around to those I encounter.
Work is work and will always be work. It is going to be stressful. My particular situation is only going to get more difficult in the months to come, so this will be a good test for me. If I can keep it in perspective, have a little faith and keep my hands out of the wind, I will not only save my own sanity and strengthen my relationship with God, but I will set an example as well. This is my new work.
According to the CDC Foundation, humans are 99.9 percent identical, genetically speaking. It is the minute 0.1 percent remainder that accounts for differences ranging from traits as innocuous as hair color to predispositions for a wide variety of diseases.
As much variance as you see among human beings, it’s hard to think about how similar we truly are. At the core, we are mostly the same. Everyone seeks purpose in this world, myself included. We search and we search. And then we search some more. We think there must be some highly unique path we are supposed to take, which is hidden by overgrowth, buried deep in a jungle or the woods somewhere, likely not found if not by top-secret treasure maps or passwords. But at the end of the day, our purpose looks pretty much the same. Well, 99.9 percent of it.
So, if you are like me and turning every stone in search of your purpose, let me help you. 1. We are to be in relationship with God. To seek a deep intimacy with Him and to worship in Him and with Him. 2. We are to be obedient stewards of his gifts and to use them for the greater good of His kingdom. As I talked about last time, this means using each and every gift we are given.
If you do both of these things, the rest will work itself out. The final .1 percent becomes just details. Wildly varying details depending on your specific situation, but details nonetheless. The reality is that we usually focus on that .1 percent that gives us the brown hair or the predisposition to cancer. The .1 percent that makes us a writer or a photographer or a doctor or a missionary or a teacher or…
We focus on the .1 percent, the unknown, instead of focusing on the 99 percent that is laid out simply for us. Be in relationship. Be a steward.
Yes, of course the .1 percent is important. It makes us the unique creatures God created. But we do need to come to an understanding that even though He granted us unique abilities and to some extent unique genetic makeups, he ultimately created us with a very consistent purpose. It is my humble opinion that if we enter into obedience to fulfill the purpose He has so clearly communicated, we will reap the reward of unlocking that .1 percent that will be our unique manifestation, plan, impact and testimony. And that it will be as clear to us as the 99.9 percent He has already shared.
If we are unable or unwilling to embark on the path He has set, to do good with the 99.9 percent we already know, why do we think He would be compelled to reveal the .1 percent to us? That’s a tough pill to swallow, but it makes me feel a little better. I know that the ambiguity I feel at the moment will continue to dissipate as I get deeper into relationship with Him and improve upon my stewardship. I know there will be a day when I open my eyes and suddenly the rest of His plan for me will become painfully obvious and delightfully clear. Until then, I need to be worried less about how I’m different and more about how I can conform to the universal purpose God has for his people. Care to join me?
After spending a weekend among artists in Asheville, I once again found myself wrestling internally about whether I am using the talents God has blessed me with in a way that is pleasing to Him. I went to the Bible and searched for references to talents. Found only a couple. The passage I settled on actually had little to do with the talents I was concerned with, at least on the surface.
Matthew 25:14-30 tells the parable of the talents, but the talents in this parable are actually units of money, not skills or gifts. As I read, I vaguely remembered it from a study once upon a time. Here’s a summary: Just before leaving on a journey, a master entrusts pieces of his property to three of his servants, according to their respective abilities. The first two servants double the value of what they are given and in turn receive praise from the master. The last man buries his talent in the ground so that he can protect and return the talent to his master. For this, he is punished severely for being lazy.
After reading this parable a few times over, I looked up a few interpretations of it to see if I could better understand exactly what God was trying to say to me. I found an article by Ken Boa which did a really nice job: http://bible.org/seriespage/stewardship
It seems God wanted to address my talents as part of a larger discussion on stewardship.
At every kid’s birthday party there will be one gift that gets all the attention while the rest of the toys, clothes, games and cash sit neglected off to the side. It’s not always the flashiest, most valuable gift. In my older son’s case, it usually is something like a $3 stretchy lizard. I’m a lot like that when it comes to gifts from God. I almost always put my talents or spiritual gifts under a microscope and try to deeply analyze their meaning so that I can determine my purpose and where my journey should take me. Meanwhile, I’m missing the bigger picture. I’m ignoring a pile of gifts, some of which are more valuable.
As Dr. Boa so eloquently states in his article, I’ve been asked to be a steward of the gifts God has placed in my life. Not just spiritual gifts. All gifts. Like the earth, my family, my financial resources, my talents, each day I have to spend. Yes, using my spiritual gifts in the way He intended is a good thing, but if I’m not a faithful steward of the other gifts I’ve been given, I will fall desperately short of the point and be an awful long way away from my purpose.
God wants to use far more than my “talents” to further His plan. He wants to use every resource available to me. Every resource that he has placed within my reach. Every gift He has given.
I’ve been working on this post for a few weeks now. It’s been exceptionally hard to successfully fight for 15 minutes of uninterrupted writing time. Finally, I’m here. The good news is that God has continued to reinforce this content with me several times. It seems I’m exposed almost daily to a quote or situation or song where this is the featured subject matter. It’s like He doesn’t want me to forget the topic at hand before I sit down to capture it in written word. He knows me all too well.
We all have wounds. Delivered to us at an early age. Dug deeper over time and with experience. They run to the bone. They bleed. The real problem is we are experts at self medication. We cover these wounds. We numb the pain. We distract ourselves from them until we no longer can feel the gaping, gushing hole. Until we no longer even acknowledge they are part of who we are.
I’m learning that it is much better to expose wounds. It’s not always the best practice for physical ailments, but when it comes to spiritual aches, band aids and wraps and medicines only infect and disease. They cause wounds to fester. If we fail to expose our wounds to our consciousness and air them out, they will produce emotions that take over. Emotions require energy to sustain themselves. They feed off actions and reactions. This generates sin. It’s really a vicious cycle.
I unintentionally put my family in danger recently because of this very thing. I have a wound. I’ve discussed it before. It has everything to do with not measuring up. Needing validation. When I allow myself to suppress that wound, bury it, temporarily put it out of my consciousness, I breed emotions that demand actions to thrive. Those actions can range from shouting to outbursts to tears to self deprecating humor. I magnify obstacles and build mountains out of mole hills.
On the day in question, I freaked out just a bit about being late (mostly because of a string of dumb mistakes on my part) and made a few ill-advised maneuvers on the road in our swagger wagon (which is code for mini van. you must watch this video: http://tiny.cc/6b70p). In the process I found myself in a situation where a very scary guy was attempting to follow us home to enact revenge for my temporary NASCARlepsy. For just a moment, I let rage consume me. And I put myself and my family in potential danger. If you suppress your wounds, you make them impact you more deeply. And they can set snowballs into motion that have the potential to generate avalanches.
If we maintain our awareness of the wounds we have, and the likely emotions that result, we can prevent some of the negative scenarios from playing out, or at least react and respond better amidst an emotional flare up. We’ll understand the cause of what we’re feeling and see more clearly how to positively impact the effect.
James 1:23-24 – Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror. And, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
We have to be self-aware. We have to expose and embrace our wounds. Keep them top of mind so that we can readily understand the emotions when they present themselves. If you name your wound and keep it present in your mind, you limit the power it can hold over you.
Conversely, I’ve also been told by God in COUNTLESS ways as of late, that my wound can actually be my weapon.
I was recently in church for the first time in six weeks. Immediately, the worship leader shouted from the stage, “Our ministry can come from our misery.”
Shortly afterward, we sang a song called Beautiful Things (http://tiny.cc/t7se7). Talk about powerful. There is a line in the song that asks, “Could a garden come up from this ground?” Of course the answer is yes. As the chorus goes…”You make beautiful things out of the dust. Beautiful things out of us.” This preceded a sermon on using spiritual gifts.
About the same time, a new friend shared a quote from Robert Bly on my blog in response to an earlier post I had written: “Where a man’s wound is, there he will find his genius.”
And finally, just last night, I was reminded that my deepest wound can and will be my gold, my gift, my genius. Basically, God has stopped just short of renting out one of those billboards where He writes in white against a black background and offers a pithy quote. I thought I should go ahead and get this post up before He blew any of His advertising budget on me.
So I leave you with a few questions that I’ve begun asking myself. What sins are you feeding your emotions? What wounds are causing those emotions? What would it take for you to starve the emotions and remove the sin? How can you make this very thing in your life that breeds negativity and transform it into a positive and powerful force?
It’s a simple, three-step process. First, expose your wounds. Then, embrace your wounds. And finally, exploit your wounds for the genius they hold inside. Let your misery become your ministry.
I hate nothing more than running late. If I show up late to an event or an appointment or even to hang out with friends, it irks me. I get stressed. I drive aggressively. My blood pressure rises. I all but come unwound. And with life moving as fast as it does, we all have lots of opportunities to feel this way. Every day brings with it a rush of activities, all compacted into the 18 hours when we aren’t sleeping. Most of my day is an attempt not to run behind schedule.
What’s even more troubling is when I’m running late for something that I might miss altogether. Like a plane or bus. Previews at the movies (look, I want to get my 20 bucks worth). Or when I’m running late for something that might be uncomfortable. Like church or a wedding or a big meeting. (you know, anything where you risk the awkward walk of shame). I get that sick feeling in my stomach, overactive butterflies or when you go too high on a swing. It can really damage the nerves.
I guess that’s why I get so agitated about my spiritual walk. A long time ago, God told me that I wasn’t ready. And ever since then, I think I’ve probably been rushing around like I was late for a date or a job interview. I’ve assumed that I was behind schedule, that I was holding up God’s plan, that I was risking it all and might miss it altogether.
But then, I came across this verse:
Psalm 27:14 – Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait I say, on the Lord!
God moves in His own time. He has His own schedule. And when He told me I wasn’t ready, it wasn’t to spur me into warp speed. He just wanted me to know that I needed to be patient. He wasn’t ready either. Think of that. God hasn’t been ready. Now, this is a chicken and egg scenario, like a lot of things. Is it because He knows I’m not ready that He’s not ready? I’ll try not to bend my mind out of shape and instead remind myself what many people have told me throughout the years. God does things in His own time. He answers prayers, works miracles, moves mountains, all in His time.
Meanwhile, I’ve been pushing myself, looking in the mirror, questioning the reflection, “What are you waiting for?” Turns out maybe I’m waiting for God’s timing and just need to focus on doing what I need to do to be ready when He gives me the signal.
My favorite part about this verse is the very end. There is an exclamation point. Wait I say, on the Lord! For me, this means two things. 1. Don’t go Mel Gibson on the situation (Lethal Weapon anyone?), charging ahead on your own because you can’t be patient. 2. You may have to be really patient. It’s not wait, it’s WAIT. It may be a while. It may feel like a very long time. It will be worth it.
And so…I wait.
One of the most helpful strategies for me in my journey has been to take a closer look at myself. In continuously diagnosing where I am, I increase the likelihood of reaching where I want to go. After all, the most important key to solving a problem is accurately defining it. Most of us are not naturally self-aware. Myself included.
I recently found a passage and a parable that has not only helped me as a diagnostic tool but also provided me with a model for more effectively approaching my faith walk. Luke 8: 11-15 talks about seeds scattered, some falling by the wayside, others on the rock, others among thorns and finally those landing on good ground. The parable goes on to describe what happens to each group of seeds. I’ve adapted it below to put it in categories that work better for me, using descriptors that are emblematic of our most common challenges as Christians. It’s important to note that three of the four categories are negative. It’s also important to note that you can find yourself in more than one at a time, although I’d bet that you can always identify more strongly with a single category.
Walls – Like the wayward seeds, you have heard the word but it has been quickly taken from you, and you don’t believe. You’ve built walls of doubt. You are cynical about God and skeptical about what He can do for you. Maybe you even question the very existence of God. Either way, you lack the belief necessary to progress in a relationship with God.
Chains – Like the seeds that fell on the rock, you have no roots and temptation quickly causes you to fall away. You are owned by sin, consumed, trapped, unable to exert self-control. You fall into the same snares over and again. You feel like you can’t overcome human nature.
Idols – Like the seeds that fell among the thorns, you are choked with cares, riches and pleasures of life. You likely have your priorities out of whack. You consistently experience fear, worry, stress. You are trusting in yourself instead of God. Focusing on things that expire instead of things that are eternal.
Fruits – Like the seeds that fell on good ground, you are producing. You are patiently progressing toward a deeper relationship with God. You have momentum. You are on a journey.
So where do you fit?
If you find yourself stuck behind walls, your main struggle is with your ability to believe. In your mind and your heart, you have to buy in to the salvation story, to the promises God has made. You might have to find ways to come to grips with doubts you have or internal struggles which prevent you from believing. If you are bound by chains, your fight involves obedience. You are failing to follow God’s instructions for your life. You have to gain small victories in resisting sin and build from there. Those in the idol category are misplacing their faith and trust, finding purpose in worldly things, relying on things other than God to sustain them. And finally, those of you fortunate enough to find yourself in the fruits category are experiencing growth, making progress in your pursuit of God.
This model, or framework, helps me organize my approach to growing with God. It also ties directly to my earlier post (You Are Not Alone), where I discussed 2 Peter 1:5. I believe as you progress in this model, you begin to outwardly display the attributes from that passage. Faith. Virtue. Knowledge. Self-Control. Perseverance. Godliness. Brotherly Kindness. And finally, Love. If you are able to more completely believe in the promises of God, trust Him and pursue him above all else, resist temptation and be obedient, then you will grow, your roots will deepen, and you will produce much fruit.
File this one under “everything happens for a reason.” Or maybe “can’t see the forest for the trees.”
Everyone would be well served by gaining some perspective. I got mine this week, when I realized that possibly the greatest frustration, the biggest disappointment, the most painful thing in my life right now, has actually been given to me for a specific purpose. It was given to me to provide perspective, to help show me something I needed to deeply understand about myself, to force me into a choice between trusting God with it or digging a deeper hole and wallowing in it. I’ve stressed and obsessed about it for a couple of years now, seeing it only as a burden and an unfortunate reality I had to accept.
But after stepping back for a moment and looking at it with a fresh eye, it is incredibly clear to me that I have been foolishly passing over an incredible learning experience and growth opportunity. It doesn’t mean that this inconvenience in my life is any less inconvenient, but it does mean that it has a clear purpose and has presented me with a deeper understanding of myself, and of my relationship with God. How cruel that I would be pressed with a challenge that directly struck at a major weakness I have long endured. Or how clever. By learning how to deal with the challenge at hand in the right way, I will strengthen myself and my walk. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with or make it stink any less, but it does help me respond more positively to it.
To gain perspective, you must be good at reading signs, and signs are everywhere. This world is full of them. In an earlier post I talked about changing your filter so that you could better view the world around you. I have another simple, yet effective tip for you and me today that can help us gain perspective. Ask why. My five-year-old is great at it. We’re having pancakes for breakfast. Why? Daddy has to go to work. Why? Time for bed. Why? No, we can’t go to Disney World tonight. Why? The sky is blue.
Why? Why? Why?
If we were to practice firing off this three-letter word on a regular basis, we would force ourselves to ponder the world around us, the endless string of things that happen to us on a daily basis, the signs we are passing by, over, through, around. We would continuously analyze and interpret. We would find perspective. We would see more forest, and fewer trees. We would be more likely to remove ourselves from the muck and mire of the scenario to snap a clearer picture.
So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of a trial or an unpleasant situation, ask yourself what God has for you in this moment of difficulty. Chances are, there is a reason for which this is happening. You just have to ask why.
There is a pile of mail on my counter. There are 655 emails in my spam folder (since this time yesterday). There are 5 voicemails waiting on my office phone. There are 27 unanswered emails in my work inbox. I missed two meetings today. I attended 8 others.
Depending on which research report you reference, the average consumer will see or hear 800 to 3,000, maybe even up to 5,000 marketing messages per day.
I don’t know anyone who can process that much information. And since we are physically and mentally unable to take in and evaluate that volume of data, we develop the ability to tune out, to automatically filter the noise. At some point, we stop seeing the billboards on our daily commute, we fast forward broadcast commercials (thank you DVR!), we channel hop on radio breaks, we can even make newspaper ads disappear through tunnel vision while we read a breaking story. Our brain develops the ability to only focus on things that might be of interest. It’s a survival tactic. It keeps us from a hard drive failure.
We do the same thing with non-marketing situations as well. Think about the chaos of a regular day. For those of you without small children in the house, take whatever chaos you have in your life and use somewhere between 800 and 5,000 as a multiplier.
Where are my keys? Where is my wallet? What time is my first meeting? Who was I supposed to meet for lunch? Don’t forget to send that email, or to pick up the dry cleaning, or to call about getting that home repair scheduled. This doesn’t even factor in all the crisis situations we might be dealing with, such as stress at work, stress about losing work, health problems, deaths in the family, etc., etc., and so on.
The point is that we live filtered lives. Twice last week during a two-day team building this truth was revealed to me. One of our speakers was talking about our ability to filter marketing messages. The second was talking about how quickly we get lost in the day at hand and lose the ability to “just be” because of multitasking on overdrive. We can’t gain perspective, because we are just trying to make our way down a mental checklist.
This is exactly why we find it so hard to hear from God. We have lost the ability to listen. We are too busy filtering out potential opportunities to walk more closely with Him because they just don’t fit into what we’ve programmed ourselves to accomplish day in and day out. We can’t listen because we are multitasking like crazy, and crashing as many things into our schedule as we can possibly fit. We get so consumed in our daily lives that our daily walks just don’t happen. They get screened right out.
The upstairs air filter in my house is hopelessly overdue for a change. I honestly don’t know how any air is even getting through at this point. I will get to it tonight, so no worries. But that is exactly what my mental filter looks like. It’s crammed with fuzz and static. Until I change it out, I won’t have the space I need to truly listen. My filter also unintentionally tags a lot of things as noise that might actually be something I need to hear or see. So, when I put in a clean one, I also need to put in a different kind, one that frees up space for unexpected messages and insights.
Finally, I need to take it off autopilot. Leaning on the filter to do all the work for me is what gets me in trouble in the first place. I need to slow down, stop even if that is what it takes. And listen. And look. And just be. Maybe even catch a billboard or two.
Your center is fixed. It doesn’t move around. I mentally highlighted those words as I read them. It’s not a foreign concept for me. The core is important in exercise. You first must strengthen it before you can expect the rest of your body to follow form. An anchor holds a ship tight, keeping it from drifting aimlessly into unfamiliar waters. We all know the story about a house built on solid ground versus sinking sand. Foundation is critical.
I’m back to an earlier struggle, the one where I seek a focus for my efforts, something I can lock in and devote myself to, a purpose if you will. A core. A foundation. A center. Without it, I feel like my path will resemble urban sprawl. Not well planned, just haphazard and random. Inconvenient and cumbersome. Splintered in a hundred directions.
My previous mental highlight from the same book: There has never been a time when nothing happened. The world never stops turning, time never stops ticking. We are in perpetual motion, whether we like it or not. We can’t actually stop. We can’t press pause. With every day, I am missing the chance to do something positive, to fulfill my purpose.
These were my thoughts on Thursday afternoon. I just couldn’t get to my computer to post because there was a lot going on this past week. Calie’s big event, the Women’s Wellness Weekend was Friday and Saturday, her family was in town, last-minute preparations were in play. And then, my time was dedicated to helping Calie pull off the event. I took out trash, I moved tables, I manned the registration booth, I worked with interns, I supported speakers, I catered to needs of exhibitors. And here and there I got to hear portions of the presentations.
On Sunday, after more than 24 hours straight with a bunch of women, the dust finally settled, allowing me time to get back to writing. As I was forced to get in touch with my feminine side over the weekend, I was granted with additional food for thought. The endearing message throughout Calie’s event was the idea of “the next step” meaning what small change will/can you make today that will help you lead a healthier life. One of Calie’s speakers was staying at our house, and she talked a lot about “the next step” and the spiritual basis it had for her. The fact that we are only required to take the next step, not figure out what it is. God will deliver instructions for that. And once we take that step, he’ll tee up the next one. Otherwise, there is no faith required. If I can map it out, chart the course, there is no need for me to trust, other than to trust that God will help me be successful.
Hearing Calie and her speaker friend talk about next steps, etc. all weekend helped me get my head back on straight. It helped me trace back the earlier understanding I had, with help from a counselor, that my purpose for being here is to enjoy relationship with God. That’s the calling. That is the core. That is the center which doesn’t move. That is the anchor that prevents me from wandering. That is the master plan that ensures no urban sprawl. I also said earlier that I felt God’s next step for me was to help others. Just to respond to those in need around me. I watched my wife do that with about a hundred women, all of them showing up with an unmet need related to their physical, emotion or spiritual health. I was proud of her. I was about to get disappointed that I hadn’t been helping anyone, despite my declaration to start doing just that. Since signing up for the call, I hadn’t experienced anyone in need. Frustrating!
And then, I realized that Calie had needed help to pull off this event, to help other women. In this case, my next step was to help her take hers. And I felt genuinely good about it, which shows progress on my part. A year ago, I would have slightly resented her for having a clear path and a purpose to pursue while I was floundering in sprawl. But watching her plan unfold is consistent with the next step concept. She didn’t map her current journey. She’s didn’t plan the course. It has taken her along for the ride, and she’s been obedient to the call.
Okay, I am dialed back in again. Sorry to have temporary lost my bearings, but it’s easy to do. And yes, it’s true that there has never been a time when nothing happened. Which means I can expect a next step again tomorrow and the next day. The key is to just keep walking.
p.s. I really hope that receiving deep insight from a women’s event doesn’t hurt my man club membership status.
the way to (t)here 
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