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My wife and I had a failure to communicate yesterday…and again this morning. And instead of talking through it (which duh, we’re failing to communicate after all), we fought instead. And left to start our respective days in anger and frustration. We made up via text as the day went along and agreed to try avoiding such nonsense in the future. It was as much closure as you can get via text.
When I got home from work tonight (following a going away party for my boss, make that former boss), my wife had already left for her weekly small group meeting. I parked the kids in their room and wandered into our bedroom to change. There was a book resting on my side of our bed called “On the Threshold of Transformation.” It’s a collection of teachings and writings from Friar Richard Rohr. Interesting. I scooped it up and began reading. It’s funny. Sometimes, even when we’re not communicating, she still knows what to say, or do.
Early on, the book states that for centuries, “males have been encouraged and rewarded for living an outer life of performances, which are usually framed in terms of win or lose…in such as world view there are only winners and losers, no in-between, and little chance for growth or redemption.” Yep, that about sums me up.
The book breaks Rohr’s teachings into 366 daily devotions intended to help you think differently and meditate on your manhood. I plowed through an entire week’s worth of entries before pausing to let them soak in. More to come on that.
This was just what I needed this week. A jolt to shake me from the numbing cycle of stress at work, stress at home, stress at work. It’s so easy to turn everything into the next great tragedy, no matter how small or petty it is. So easy to lose perspective and momentum. I called out earlier today for help…and God responded by delivering me some poignant reading through my lovely wife. Even when we have failure communicating, God doesn’t.
That’s my new mantra. I think it pretty much says it all. I’ve encountered this basic premise several times over the last few weeks through several different types of media. Three simple steps. Pray. Listen. Respond. Everything else takes care of itself. We humans have a tendency to overcomplicated things. I recently was a part of a Six Sigma project at the office, where we basically spent three months identifying and mapping a problem and process for solving it, all the while knowing what needed to be done to fix it. Something rather simple actually. But we are creatures of process, of engineering, of muddying the proverbial waters. Ever since Adam and Eve, we’ve been creating complexity out of simplicity. We’ve gotten really good at it.
I wonder, though, what would happen if we all mastered those three simple steps. Pray. Listen. Respond. I know, I know, it’s not nearly as easy as that. Trust me, I’ve royally screwed up each step in the process. I’ve prayed for the wrong things. I’ve failed to keep my ears open. I’ve resisted and refused to respond in the way God asked me. But just because I have a hard time following orders doesn’t mean we need to make the orders more complicated. Instead, I’d prefer to keep them as simplistic in nature as possible. Instead of getting lost in the process, I would rather expend all my energy trying to Pray better. Listen better. Respond better.
It was supposed to be a networking lunch with a former professional colleague who had moved on to a new opportunity. We had worked relatively closely together for a couple of years but hadn’t had many personal conversations. I knew he was a Godly man. As it turns out, he didn’t have as clear a view on my faith, which was a wake up call of sorts. But that’s a different discussion.
Halfway through our meal, which to this point had been peppered with small talk and discourse on the current healthcare environment, Dexter mentioned that he had just returned from preaching at a church in California where he used to be a member. Evidently he makes a pilgrimage or two every year to lead worship. This sparked me to share with him the journey I’d embarked on and where I was currently struggling, specifically regarding prayer and the ups and downs I’d been having in that department. Well, surprise, surprise. Can you guess what Dexter’s recent sermon was all about? Yep. PRAYER!
Dexter and I then got down to real business. He shared the highlights of his sermon, and we talked more about my journey. He promised to send me an email with his speaker notes for the prayer sermon, as well as a new sermon he was preparing on salvation, hoping I might provide some feedback on it. He did, and I did. And we both were blessed. It was yet another sign of God working well with whatever material I provided Him, whatever situation or circumstance I presented.
By the way, here’s the big takeaway for me from Dexter’s prayer talk. Quoting the book, Desire of Ages, Dexter said, “The Lord is disappointed when His people place a low estimate upon themselves. He desires His chosen to value themselves according to the price He has placed upon them. He has a use for them, and He is well pleased when they make the very highest demands upon Him, that they may glorify His name. They may expect large things if they have faith in His promises.”
Wow, confirmation that my ongoing desire to use my spiritual gifts to do great things for God is on target. Although, Dexter continued by quoting James 4:3 – “You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your own pleasures.” There it goes again. The question of motivation and intent. Sigh.
And then Dexter uncovered an equally large challenge that likely was getting in my way as well. Again in James (1:6-8) – “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
I definitely don’t ascribe to astrology, but I do know that my sign is Gemini. And that means I’m a twin. With conflicting sides. And that part is soooooo very true for me. This verse calls it on the carpet. I’m standing here making demands of God. Asking Him to use me in a special way. Asking for clarity in purpose. And deep down, I don’t really trust that He’ll answer the prayer. I’ve been conditioned to think that I’ve been asking for this for years with no adequate response from Him. That I’ve struggled with this forever, and why will it be any different this time around. But if I don’t have faith, if I don’t trust completely, I’ll self-fulfil that prophecy. Faith comes from faith, as Dexter would suggest. Meaning that I have to continue to sharpen the blade before I’m ready to cut anything. That will require more prayer, more obedience and in time, more faith. Patience is a virtue. I happen to be lacking enormously in that department. Time to work on that I suppose.
Calie and I had a lot on our minds, many stressful situations in play. We didn’t know what to do. So, we had this brilliant idea. A really novel concept. Why don’t we pray about it? I don’t know why it took us so long to arrive at such a simple conclusion, but it is very telling of how my spiritual walk had been going previously. So, we prayed about things, and we decided to wake up the next morning, read the Bible and see what God had to say about the problems we were facing.
The next morning, we each read separate passages from Isaiah and met at the kitchen table ready to share. At first glance, Calie’s verses seemed to saythat God would take care of everything, not to worry. But when we kept reading, her passage delivered exactly the same message as mine. Basically it said, “Um, hello do I know you? You’ve not kept my commandments. You’ve not regularly talked to me, read my word, followed my ways. And now, here you are, asking for help like I was a friend of the family and not a stranger you’ve never met. ” Obviously, I’m paraphrasing the passages, but this is exactly how it sounded in my head. There we were, not pursuing a relationship with God, miles away from doing so. At the first sign of trouble, we were banging on his door, asking for favors. We wanted answers. He wanted a relationship. Message to Heath: God is not a drive-thru.
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