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A friend of mine recently described the changes he had made with how he handles relationships, saying that in his past he would lean back and make people pursue him, but now he leans in and does the pursuing himself. Back to that quote in a moment.
I am a man of action. That’s what I’m telling myself. It’s still a new state of mind for me. A different way of approaching things. But I’ve been concerned about my self-perceived lack of action to back up the declaration. In James, which is a great book for understanding how to be a man of action, it clearly states that faith without works is dead. I’ve read that before. My literal translation has been a bit off though.
Back to my friend’s quote. Leaning in. That is action in itself. I’ve been holding myself accountable for not having executed physical actions that back up my faith. Thinking the lack of such actions means I’m not making progress in my faith. But I have been leaning in. I have been in pursuit. I’ve been obedient in areas where I’ve long ignored the call of God. I’ve repaired my relationship with my wife. I’ve stepped out and made myself vulnerable, trusting that God would deliver. I’ve committed to this blog. I’ve been taking action. And eventually, that action will show itself in a more tangible outward way, but for the moment, it’s important I see the power of the progress I’ve made. I’m not getting it all right, all the time. But my batting average is waaaaaay up from just six months ago.
Our natural tendency as humans is to lean back instead of leaning in. The problem with that is we have no power when we’re leaning back. Strength comes from leaning in. If you are trying to move a heavy object, win a fist fight, advance against resistance, do you lean in or back? Leaning in is about motion, about action. It’s also about intention and investment. If you want to gauge whether someone is truly interested and in the conversation you are having, simply watch their body language. Are they leaning in toward you? If yes, they are invested. Are they leaning back? If yes, they are creating distance between you because they are disengaged. It’s a light switch. In is on. Back is off. In has power and intention. It’s a declaration of purpose. Back is distrust, reluctance, apathy and defeat. If we only lean back, we will never move forward.
Before you can act, you have to be activated. And to be activated, you have to make the conscious decision to lean in. To get off your heels and on your toes. I can tell you from experience, it makes a difference. It doesn’t make struggles go away. It doesn’t immediately change the world around you. But it does flip the switch, illuminate your surroundings and generate momentum toward the place you want to go.
Be aware of your internal posture. Are you leaning in or leaning back?
I’ve been wrestling with a big decision lately. Finally, I made it. And I think, I think…I THINK, I made the right decision. I’m also afraid I made it for the wrong reasons.
So, my question is this. Can right be wrong? See, I feel like I made the decision out of fear and obligation, like it was just the right thing to do, the proper next step. What if I didn’t do this? Instead of making it with anticipation of how God will use it, I made it based off my own internal emotions. If it truly is the right thing for me, what God has next for me, am I actually being obedient by saying yes even though I have these fears? Does it count as obedience if my motives are admittedly a bit off? Will God use this? I know He can, obviously. But will He?
Like I said, this seems like a decision that will benefit me, that will be good for me in my walk. I have hefty reservations. I’m nervous. Some of that is natural, I’m sure. But at what point have I made the wrong decision even though it’s the right one? I’m a big believer that the end does NOT justify the means. Which is why I’m wrestling with this choice. I’m praying that God will use this in a positive way, even if I’m backing in to it instead of forward marching. I have to trust that at some level deep within, I’m truly being drawn to this but just can’t see it because of the layers of doubt and hesitation. I’m hoping that right can’t be wrong. At least not in this case.
One of the most helpful strategies for me in my journey has been to take a closer look at myself. In continuously diagnosing where I am, I increase the likelihood of reaching where I want to go. After all, the most important key to solving a problem is accurately defining it. Most of us are not naturally self-aware. Myself included.
I recently found a passage and a parable that has not only helped me as a diagnostic tool but also provided me with a model for more effectively approaching my faith walk. Luke 8: 11-15 talks about seeds scattered, some falling by the wayside, others on the rock, others among thorns and finally those landing on good ground. The parable goes on to describe what happens to each group of seeds. I’ve adapted it below to put it in categories that work better for me, using descriptors that are emblematic of our most common challenges as Christians. It’s important to note that three of the four categories are negative. It’s also important to note that you can find yourself in more than one at a time, although I’d bet that you can always identify more strongly with a single category.
Walls – Like the wayward seeds, you have heard the word but it has been quickly taken from you, and you don’t believe. You’ve built walls of doubt. You are cynical about God and skeptical about what He can do for you. Maybe you even question the very existence of God. Either way, you lack the belief necessary to progress in a relationship with God.
Chains – Like the seeds that fell on the rock, you have no roots and temptation quickly causes you to fall away. You are owned by sin, consumed, trapped, unable to exert self-control. You fall into the same snares over and again. You feel like you can’t overcome human nature.
Idols – Like the seeds that fell among the thorns, you are choked with cares, riches and pleasures of life. You likely have your priorities out of whack. You consistently experience fear, worry, stress. You are trusting in yourself instead of God. Focusing on things that expire instead of things that are eternal.
Fruits – Like the seeds that fell on good ground, you are producing. You are patiently progressing toward a deeper relationship with God. You have momentum. You are on a journey.
So where do you fit?
If you find yourself stuck behind walls, your main struggle is with your ability to believe. In your mind and your heart, you have to buy in to the salvation story, to the promises God has made. You might have to find ways to come to grips with doubts you have or internal struggles which prevent you from believing. If you are bound by chains, your fight involves obedience. You are failing to follow God’s instructions for your life. You have to gain small victories in resisting sin and build from there. Those in the idol category are misplacing their faith and trust, finding purpose in worldly things, relying on things other than God to sustain them. And finally, those of you fortunate enough to find yourself in the fruits category are experiencing growth, making progress in your pursuit of God.
This model, or framework, helps me organize my approach to growing with God. It also ties directly to my earlier post (You Are Not Alone), where I discussed 2 Peter 1:5. I believe as you progress in this model, you begin to outwardly display the attributes from that passage. Faith. Virtue. Knowledge. Self-Control. Perseverance. Godliness. Brotherly Kindness. And finally, Love. If you are able to more completely believe in the promises of God, trust Him and pursue him above all else, resist temptation and be obedient, then you will grow, your roots will deepen, and you will produce much fruit.
It’s a common picture. A young boy playing baseball. Stuck out in right field. Busy picking grass or watching bugs crawl while the game flies around him. Eventually, maybe even a ball comes his way, only to roll right by as he kicks dirt and blows bubbles with his gum. Oblivious. If his attitude and aptitude don’t change, he will find himself riding the ole pine come little league.
I wasn’t going to write a blog post today. I also wasn’t going to read my Bible today. But after I couldn’t find the book I was looking for, a search that ensued after my wife and I couldn’t find anything to watch on television, I ended up in Isaiah again. Insight was shared, even though I was looking to be distracted, not discipled.
54:2 – Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.
This was very exciting to read, because lately it feels as if every scripture I approach tells me of something else I need to combat or address, some obstacle I need to remove. It was as if God was saying, “Ok, kid, get ready to go back in the game.” I love sports. What I love more is a good sports analogy. To carry this one forward, I have been on the bench for a long time. So long that I have splinters in places where splinters are extra painful. I was beginning to think I’d never get back on the field. I had even started to get fuzzy on the rules of the game, even the reason you play the game.
So, to hear Coach tell me, prepare yourself, enlarge your tent, get ready, I immediately got pumped. I almost ran out of the dugout and onto the field before realizing that He hadn’t given me specific instructions just yet. What position I was playing. So, I curbed my enthusiasm for a moment. And now will do so with the analogy. It’s worked hard enough. But it was a good one, right?
I continued reading in Isaiah, and a few chapters later, Coach was back. (sorry, I really will bench this analogy soon).
58:7 – 10 – Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when you see the naked to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn…Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I…your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.
I think I’ve been waiting for some big theme, a cause to rally around, some way of organizing my activity. But God is saying, “You could just start by opening your eyes to the immediate opportunities I present to you and go from there.” Novel concept. I’ve been too busy looking deep inside to find some complicated purpose with blinders on to the world around me. It may very well be that God has a cause for me, a theme, but I need to start by responding to the immediate needs He identifies, and He will reward my faithfulness by shining light where there once was only darkness. Back to the analogy for just a bit longer, it’s just like being the visiting team in baseball. You have to catch what’s hit to you before you can step up to the plate to hit a home run. (Man, I’m even getting tired of it now.)
The most significant part about this revelation for me is that it came from the very chapter that started it all. Way back when I began this journey, the first passage I read, the one that reminded me God is not a drive thru, was Isaiah 58: 1-6. If only I had kept reading for a few verses, I could have skipped right to the thick of things instead of circling the drain for 18 months. The funny thing is that at the time of reading the first part of this chapter, I was miles away from being able to appreciate the last half of it, despite the proximity of the verses. And despite the now glaringly simple message being delivered.
The tent is now open as wide as I can pull it. And I’m happy to be back in the game. I can’t wait for a ball to be hit my way now, because I’m ready. I’m in position. I’m alert. And I’m going to catch it.
Excerpts from a song I wrote quite a while ago. Somehow seems fitting for this journey. Frustrating how easily my wiring can get crossed, how quickly I can short circuit and self destruct, how quickly I can veer of the path and lose momentum.
A Fragile machine
Is a human being
Delicate balance
Intricate design
Movement of my soul
Like a gear grinding endlessly
Pressure on my lungs
Harder to pull the air I breathe
Bound by time
I’m a fragile machine
Men pretend there is no sin
No danger where the darkness lies
They stumble into the strange places
Daring not to open eyes
They march as though they know the way
Suck the life out of each day
And turn their heads away from skies
Daring not to open eyes
Daring not to open eyes
The instructions say handle with care
Warning labels everywhere
Yet we crash into our fellow man
Creating static as only we can
We are not programmed for this
To disassemble innocence
To deconstruct our empty lives
Because we have not opened eyes
Because we have not opened eyes
A Fragile machine
Is a human being
Delicate balance
Intricate design
Movement of my soul
Like a gear grinding endlessly
Pressure on my lungs
Harder to pull the air I breathe
Bound by time
I’m a fragile machine
Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM! — Mel Gibson as William Wallace in Braveheart
Guessing you have seen Braveheart, where Mel Gibson’s character, William Wallace, fights for his country’s freedom from English rule around the end of the 13th century. As with any good Hollywood flick, the underdog beats great odds and overcomes an insurmountable challenge. Although vastly outnumbered, Wallace and his clan crush the English. How? My theory: Wallace was fighting in obedience, passion and conviction to a cause, while the enemy he faced was following orders and executing someone else’s prescription and priority. Obedience vs. discipline. Heart vs. head. Passion vs. precision.
Growing up I was taught there were certain things you needed to commit to and be disciplined about if you are going to develop a close relationship with God. Pray regularly. Read your bible daily. Attend church at least once a week. Things like that. All well and good, but in the end, it creates a “to do” list if you heart isn’t in it. I’ve been reading my Bible lately, more consistently than I ever remember doing so. The reason is that I am actively pursuing what insight God has waiting for me. I’m passionate about a greater understanding. I have tried to start reading my Bible daily 100 times before and never made it past a week. This time it is different, because my approach is different. It isn’t about discipline. It’s about obedience. Discipline becomes necessary if that is your starting point, but if you are obedient, then discipline is a natural progression. Discipline starts with the mind. Obedience from the heart. Discipline produces routine. Obedience produces passion.
I realized a while back that God wasn’t as interested in my talent and how I might use it as he was in my heart. Same goes for my head. Too often, we mistake “following orders” for being obedient. When we do that, we’re basically handing our head over to God. That’s not exactly what he wants from us. How many times throughout history does God reprimand those who follow the letter of the law but miss out on the spirit of it? Who appear to be religious titans, but are far away from a true relationship with God.
It’s the difference in approaching a prospect you want to do business with, versus a friend with whom you want to connect more deeply. To make the sale, there is a list of things you need to accomplish, a process you can follow, to increase your chances of completing the transaction. You plan out a schedule of phone calls and emails, with a specific end point in mind, a specific exchange. You don’t act that way when you are trying to strengthen a relationship with a friend. There is no set process, no task list. You start by listening more acutely to the other person, by responding to their needs, by meeting them where they are. You don’t schedule three follow-up calls and an email campaign in your calendar (well, most of us don’t anyway. birthday reminders and such are okay, but a full-blown campaign is a little creepy). You aren’t angling for a specific exchange. Your end point is being driven by the heart, not the mind.
I’m sure there is something to be said of discipline, or committing to something you know is right even when you don’t want to do it deep down. But in my experience, without a genuine urge to get closer to God, you aren’t even going to get in the right zip code. No matter how much discipline you have.
As you know, I’m working my way through Isaiah. More to come on that from chapters 16-30. But I wanted to share this post first. Mostly because 10 minutes after I had scribbled down some notes on the topic of obedience vs. discipline, I read the following passages. Wasn’t looking for them. Just so happened these chapters were next up in my reading. Another way that God confirmed my head, and my heart, are headed toward the right place.
28:10 – For it is: do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule, a little here, a little there. God will speak to his people to who he said, “this is the resting place, let the weary rest. This is the place of repose.” But they would not listen. So then, the word of the Lord to them will become: do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule, a little here, a little there so that they will go and fall backward, be injured and snared and captured.
and then…
29:8 – as when a hungry man dreams his is eating, but he awakens, and his hunger remains; as when a thirsty man dreams that he is drinking, but he awakens faint, with his thirst unquenched.
With that, I would encourage you to scrap your routine, to just stop right now whatever you are doing. And start over. Start with simply being open and obedient and seeing where God points you. And then, introduce discipline to the equation. God isn’t a bank account, where you just work and work and save and save until one day you have enough to withdraw exactly what you need. This is a relationship, not a transaction.
Going through the motions doesn’t create much momentum. God speaks through the heart, not the head. So, throw on some war paint and a kilt (if you have one), get a crazy look in your eyes and charge toward what God has for you. Don’t follow someone else’s prescription. God has a specific plan for you, and for me. And it’s much more powerful than any routine.
During the 2008 NFL season, former all-time great Mike Singletary took over as interim head coach for the San Francisco 49ers. He made quite a debut, sending his star tight end to the locker room with 10 minutes left in the game. In the post game press conference, Singletary explained his actions and declared a zero tolerance policy for players who made things about them instead of the team. “Cannot play with them. Cannot win with them. Cannot coach with them. Can’t do it.”
I was reading my Bible a little while back, and I landed in Judges. The story of Samson in Judges 16 is a great illustration that just like Mike Singletary, God can’t win with you if you have your focus wrong. If you share your heart and mind with worldly things it will bring only destruction, no matter how much talent and potential you’ve been blessed with. God empowered Samson with a ridiculous gift. And when Samson, a mighty warrior and a great talent, let his flesh get the better of him, it was off with his hair and out with his eyes. He was sent to the locker room.
I’m not suggesting that God sends us to the showers every time we step out of line. I am suggesting that if our motives aren’t pure, and if our focus is not aimed in the right direction, that He simply can’t use us for His glory. In his press conference, Coach Singletary actually said he could deal with players who made mistakes but had their heart in the right place, but that he had no use for players who had their eyes on the wrong prize.
“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.” – Romans 8:5-8
Thanks to Dexter for sharing that scripture with me.
I usually worry about not using my talents for the glory of God, thinking that an inability to make a positive impact is the worst case scenario. But if I allow myself to be guided by the world, to be about myself instead of the team, I can actually create negative consequences for myself and those around me, while rendering myself useless to God. It’s not whether I can make an impact. That is going to happen. It’s the trajectory of the impact that is the real issue. Am I going to lean forward or fall back? The answer will be in whether I can die to the self.
You are probably aware of how Sampson’s story ends. He prayed that God would remember him and strengthen him, just once, so that he might avenge the Philistines for his two eyes being gouged out. God grants his wish, puts him back on the field, and he pulls two pillars together and collapses the temple. In Judges 16:30 it says, Thus he killed many more as he died than while he lived.”
Another reminder for me that what I can accomplish if I die to self and commit to God will always, ALWAYS , be far greater than anything I can achieve by my own devices. Knowing that makes it hard to explain why it’s so hard to do it.
That’s my new mantra. I think it pretty much says it all. I’ve encountered this basic premise several times over the last few weeks through several different types of media. Three simple steps. Pray. Listen. Respond. Everything else takes care of itself. We humans have a tendency to overcomplicated things. I recently was a part of a Six Sigma project at the office, where we basically spent three months identifying and mapping a problem and process for solving it, all the while knowing what needed to be done to fix it. Something rather simple actually. But we are creatures of process, of engineering, of muddying the proverbial waters. Ever since Adam and Eve, we’ve been creating complexity out of simplicity. We’ve gotten really good at it.
I wonder, though, what would happen if we all mastered those three simple steps. Pray. Listen. Respond. I know, I know, it’s not nearly as easy as that. Trust me, I’ve royally screwed up each step in the process. I’ve prayed for the wrong things. I’ve failed to keep my ears open. I’ve resisted and refused to respond in the way God asked me. But just because I have a hard time following orders doesn’t mean we need to make the orders more complicated. Instead, I’d prefer to keep them as simplistic in nature as possible. Instead of getting lost in the process, I would rather expend all my energy trying to Pray better. Listen better. Respond better.
It’s amazing how unappealing it appears on the surface. So, you want God to work in your life? Oh, you want Him to use you? Well, guess what likely happens next. First, you have to get nervous about what the ask will be. It could be something different from what you wanted to do. Worse yet, it could be something you really don’t want to do. Maybe even something you are afraid to do. Something you aren’t even sure you are capable of doing. Oh, and then you have to contend with Satan working against you, trying to interfere, to sidetrack you, to put you through trials and challenges.
Let me get this straight. I am possibly going to be asked to do something far outside my comfort zone, and at the same time evil spirits are going to do everything they can to make me regret it? So why is the call still so irresistable? Because of two things. 1. Faith. 2. Amazing promises. I think there’s an old saying that anything free doesn’t cost enough to be worth it. Or something like that. If not, I’ll coin that one myself. Ha! The promises God makes to those who are faithful, who obey, who are diligent, far outweigh the cost of pursuing His will. I’ll admit though, as I’m preparing for whatever that might mean in my life, I’m a bit nervous about “the ask” and what it might entail, what the cost might be. It won’t be free.
This blog is a bad idea. You aren’t a good enough writer. No one will like it. No one will care. You will just sound dumb and weak. This isn’t going to change anything. What’s the point anyway? It’s not like there is anything insightful enough to help anyone here. You are just wasting time you could be spending in other ways. Why go through the trouble? No one is listening.
So, that’s what’s been rattling around in my brain as I’ve worked on this blog. Every time I enter a new post, those nagging voices inside (figurative voices, not really HEARING them, so no worries) just keep poking holes and planting doubts. Usually, I’d let it get the best of me and just shut down, but the more I hear the voices, the louder they get, the more it feels like I’m doing what God is asking of me. I don’t fully understand it, the point of it, the ultimate destination, but it’s obviously bothering Satan enough that he feels it necessary to try and dissuade and deactivate me. That’s enough validation that I’m on track and should just keep pushing, keep posting without fear or expectation, but in complete obedience. So, voices, you can shut up now. No one is listening.
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