stuckWow, ok so this blog is on life support. I all but abandoned it. But it’s time to try and revive it, and me in the process. I’ve been in a slump lately spiritually. Can’t shake out of it. Just don’t feel alive and in relationship with God. BUT, I have diagnosed the problem. Make that problems, with an “s” actually.

I’m sure you will be able to relate to these as well. I’m calling them the 3Ps for why you’re spiritually stuck. If you aren’t moving in the right direction, or at all, it’s likely you have a problem with your purpose, plan and/or perspective. For me, it’s all the above.

Purpose

Your eyes are not on the prize.

Luke 11:33 – No one, when he has a lit lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lamp stand, that those who come may see the light. The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your body also is full of light.

I haven’t been focused on God lately. In the relationship with Him. I’ve been wrapped up in life, in everyday circumstances, in my own personal challenges and issues. I’ve lost concentration on what my overall purpose really is. My eye is not good at the moment, which means my mind and body aren’t directed toward God as they should be.

What’s worse is that many times over I’ve declared that I understand my purpose and am dedicated to it. But I’m not following through. Job 35:13 says that God doesn’t listen to “empty talk” and oh boy have I been an empty talker.

Plan

One step or bite at a time.

I’ve been doing research lately for an organization that helps solve “wicked problems”, meaning challenges that are big, complex and challenging to solve. A great example of a wicked problem is the healthcare industry. Healthcare in our country is tragically broken, and to develop a meaningful solution will require multiple stakeholder groups to collaborate. Wicked problems are entangled, knotted messes that can be overwhelming to even approach.

For me, my spiritual walk, dealing with my sin, embracing my wounds all feels like a wicked problem. There’s no simple solution. It’s a journey that is intricate and complicated. A lifetime of a mess that’s been made and needs to be untangled. And I can’t do it alone.

The experts approach wicked problems in a rather simplistic way. The same way you’d “eat an elephant” as in one bite (or step) at a time. God asks me to do much the same. To walk in faith. To take the next step, and then the next one. In Proverbs 16:20 it says that “He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.” I haven’t been extremely happy, because once again I’ve been making plans, running scenarios and trying to make it happen myself. Not having complete faith that God will direct my steps.

Perspective

The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole. – Oscar Wilde

I’ve been quite the pessimist lately. And have been seeing the negative instead of the positive. The hole instead of the donut. It’s really caused my overall perspective on things to be quite backwards. I’ve let myself be concerned about my performance in terms of my spiritual walk. Holding an incomplete view of God as the great hand of discipline only. I’ve graded my thoughts and actions on how they stack up to what God wants for me. How disappointed He must be. How I’m falling short of what I know I should be doing. Meanwhile, I’ve viewed people around me with great skepticism. As if i were the prey and they were the predators. People can be mean for sure. And self interested. And cut throat. And I’ve been building a long list internally, compiling every slight wrongful deed or word as a file of evidence.

A few verses in Job pulled me back out of this warped visioning.

In Job 34:29 it says, “When He gives quietness, who then can make trouble?” In that brief verse, there was an understanding and remembrance that washed over me. God is not a punisher. He’s a protector. He’s not simply keeping score. He’s providing safety. And the calm, peace, security that He gives can’t be taken away. Isn’t that quite a different perspective to have?

As I continued reading, I hit chapter 35, verse 8, “Your wickedness affects a man such as you, and your righteousness a son of man.” Again, I was transported back to a time when I understood. The impact of my actions, of my obedience or lack thereof to God, isn’t contained to me. I have impact, both positive and negative, on the world around me. My spiritual journey has relevance.

In my wounded nature, my sinful self, I have a daily impact on those I encounter. And I either offer perfume or poison. Just as they do for me. We’re all in this together. We’re all broken, hurt, wounded. We’re not predators. Well most of us anyway. Ha! We’re all just trying to make sense of our lives and achieve some level of healing. And we hurt each other along the way. And we help each other along the way.

My perspective had me isolated. Stuck between a God that I was treating as a punisher and people I was treating as predators. I was hiding from both. Feeling disconnected. When in reality, my God offers unshakeable peace. And the people around me the opportunity for healthy connection and healing. Donut. Not hole.

And so there are the 3Ps according to me. I’m working on them all simultaneously at the moment. And I have a long way to go. And I’m sure I’ll come up with a fourth P before all is said and done. Hope this has been helpful. It’s good to be back on the blog. I’ll do my best to keep it up.