I wrote the following song the other night not really knowing what it was about as it was rattling around in my head. It wasn’t until I had it all scribbled on scraps of paper that it made sense. It was about addiction. Sin. The hamster wheels we find ourselves on, the cycles we can’t break. Like an unhealthy relationship with a person we just can’t quit. No matter how toxic the situation is, we just hang on. The relationship (the sin) is serving a purpose. It’s filling a need. And the deeper we go, the harder it is to pull back out, the more destructive it becomes. It’s a vicious spiral.

In the end, as humans, we’ll always have a relationship with sin. It will always be there. We have to find ways to “just be friends” and to stop the love affair with it. And deal with the core issues, before we create deeper scars.

Anyway, hope this makes sense to you. It’s been a while since a song has hit me. I guess this one arrived because I’ve been so consumed by my own hamster wheels lately, and I’ve been on edge, frustrated and distant from God because of it. Not willing to trust Him with my troubles.

 
Deeper Scars
 
I don’t understand
the kind of shape I’m in
and why it’s been so long
 
I can’t comprehend 
why you keep standing in
when it all feels so wrong
 
Can you just not pretend
that everything is grand
you must know it’s falling apart
 
What if this is not a trend
but the beginning of the end
the start of deeper scars
 
Start over again, you know I would
If we could go back to friends, I think we should
If we press on from here, I fear we’ll go too far
Maybe we should just let go
Before we start deeper scars
 
The knife’s broken the skin
we keep shoving it in
bleeding all the while
 
A bloody, bloody mess
still we won’t confess
as our sad eyes force the smiles
 
We shake our pretty heads
declare that we’re not dead
but we are in denial
 
Evidence is this
no ignorance is bliss
don’t even bother with a trial
 
Start over again, you know I would
If we could go back to friends, I think we should
If we press on from here, I fear we’ll go too far
Maybe we should just let go
Before we start deeper scars