I came across a passage tonight, Luke 18:14, which basically says,

“If you’re content with simply being yourself, you will become more than yourself.” 

I had to read that about half a dozen times. It hit me like a truck. Bingo. One of my biggest problems. I’m so preoccupied with “being more” or “doing more”, with overcoming mistakes I’ve made, with trying to transform myself based on this newfound awareness I have.

This verse was quoted in a book by Dr. David Benner called “The Gift of Being Yourself.” Dr. Benner goes on to argue that we can’t really give up something until we possess it. He says that”before we can become ourself we must accept ourself, just as we are.” That self-acceptance always precedes genuine self-surrender and self-transformation.

I’ve been feeling good about myself because I’ve become so self-aware.  I’ve been waiting impatiently for the transformation that I thought would come because I’ve “figured so much out” about myself this past year.

But self-awareness is a far cry from self-acceptance. And let me tell you, I have a ways to go on the acceptance front. Or at least that’s what I’m realizing.

So, first comes awareness, then acceptance of what you’ve learned, then surrender of yourself so that you can be transformed. How ironic that all I have to do to achieve a greater purpose tomorrow is to simply be okay with who I am today.

For the moment, I’ll have to settle for accepting the fact that I wasn’t aware of how much work was still ahead of me in my “transformation.” At least I now understand what might have been stunting my growth and stagnating my progress the last few months.