I just finished reading Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr. I’ve read several of Rohr’s books, but I think this one was the most powerful and revealing for me. Possibly because it feels tailor-made for where I am in my journey at the moment. There were several passages that completely resonated with how I’m feeling right now. One in particular nailed it.

“Usually, I can feel myself get panicky. I want to make things right, quickly. I lose my ability to be present, and I go up into my head and start obsessing. I tend to be overfocused, and I hate it because then I’m not really feeling anymore. I’m into goal-orientation, trying to push or even create…”

I could have written that about myself this past week. I’m six short weeks away from being unemployed for the first time in my career. I still have a few opportunities in play, but nothing that’s a sure bet. I’m torn between full-time and freelance work. I still don’t really know which path God intends me to pursue. All the while, I’ve been so distracted by my work situation that I’ve been completely unable to focus on what God is trying to do in my life. I’ve been unmotivated to wrestle with God, unmotivated to write on this blog. I’ve just been pressing, and getting a little panicky. I’m afraid I won’t have the resolve to stand tall in the midst of this uncertainty and receive the full guidance God has for me.

That’s about all I have to share today. I mostly wanted to get back on the horse and publish a post. Hoping the week ahead brings more prayer and less panic, more faith and less fear.