Research (such as The Power of Small Wins that ran in Harvard Business Review May, 2011) shows that people who make progress every day toward something they care about (even small steps toward it) report being satisfied and fulfilled.

That is not me. I wish I could report being satisfied and fulfilled by small wins. But it’s not cutting it for me lately. It’s so hard to satiate my desire for clarity and the full articulation of my purpose. As I’m sitting here, trying to figure out the next step in my career, staring at multiple forks in the road, I wish I felt freedom and liberation instead of frustration and paralysis. But instead of having a sense of direction, I am stymied. Stuck. Pent up. UGH!

I want to take another step, because you never know when the next small step changes everything. But there have been so many small steps lately that seem to only lead to another small step. Is that part of the plan, or have I just been missing the opportunities for big leaps? Or, am I just missing the significance of the steps I’m taking and how meaningful these smalls wins really are?

In any event, I keep waiting. Inching along. I have severe writer’s block at the moment, which is preventing me from working on my book, despite the fact that I now have some free time to dedicate to it and have a much clearer picture of how it needs to unfold. I have some professional opportunities lining up, but most do not feel at all like the direction I’m being called to go. It is a draining place to be dwelling.

I honestly need a respite from the small steps. I just need to mix in a hop, skip or a jump. Praying for something to happen that sparks the flame and ignites the passion that is building up inside with no appropriate outlet. Praying for that to happen quickly!