Two days ago, I finally hit my breaking point. I wanted something. I wanted guidance. I wanted clarity. So, I asked God for it. I asked specifically for specificity. I asked clearly for clarity.

I pleaded with God to show me at least the next step in His plan, to help me not feel like I was wandering around in circles. I asked for what all Christians ask for at one point or another. I asked for a sign.

A few hours later, I got a fairly random request from my neighbors next door. They were selling a car, and some guy responded to their Craigslist ad wanting to test drive it at 9:30 at night. The husband wanted me to ride along, just to help ease his mind about this sketchy fellow. As I was standing in their kitchen talking to them, I mentioned how I was feeling about my journey. The husband quoted a verse that had always spoken to him about the righteous living by faith. His wife told me how when the husband was in a similar place, he moved on by quitting his job. She looked at me like she knew I was waiting for someone to deliver specific wisdom. She said, “Sometimes, you just have to take that next step. That’s what God wants. And when you do that, He’ll make sense of it all.”

In the end, the guy never showed up to drive the car. And it wasn’t until I woke up the next morning that the words of my neighbor struck me. And I thought, “Was that God trying to communicate?”

I shook it off. Drove into downtown for a meeting at a coffee shop. Logged into my email and stumbled upon a column in the Washington Post by Carolyn Hax. Carolyn was answering reader questions. The first question was from a guy  who was checking in with a midlife crisis, saying he was tempted to blow up his life and go sell t-shirts in Tahiti or something like that. But, of course, he was feeling conflicted about blowing up his life and moving to Tahiti.

Carolyn responded by suggesting he finish this sentence: “The real reason I’m not ‘blowing it all up’ is that I actually like ____________.” She offered suggestions like “paying the bills” or “being safe and secure.” She also said he needed to recognize if he was standing in his own way.

To admit if he was staying with his current job because he was telling himself he couldn’t afford to quit it. But really using that as an excuse because he was afraid to try something new.

She said that when you acknowledge your choices and why you’re making them, you can do one of two things. Embrace them. Or change them.

I naturally linked this article with the words from my neighbor. And for a moment, I felt like God might be reinforcing what she had told me. But then I thought to myself, “No, this isn’t what I think it is.” I thought, “I sorta need to hear it one more time.” The whole things come in three’s theory.

Less than five minutes later, I found myself eavesdropping on a conversation two guys were having in the coffee shop. I shouldn’t have been able to make out anything they were saying. They were at the other end of the store. But it was as if I were standing next to them participating.

One guy says to the other, “Is today your last day? Are you packed up and ready?” The other guy responds and explains that tomorrow is actually his last day at his job. He then starts talking about how worried and stressed he is about it. How he’s spending six months on “the trail” and how there will be bears and snakes and other dangerous wild animals. How he’ll probably lose 20-30 pounds in the first month or two. How every 7 days or so, he’ll pass a town or gas station or something but in between it’ll just be wilderness. But what a great adventure.

As crazy as it sounds, I feel like the message was reinforced again. A message that doesn’t make any rational or logical sense at all. I’ve been trying to discern where God is leading me so I can follow, but is God asking me to follow first? I’d love to get some affirmation from some objective third parties. If you’re out there, reading this, and you feel like you can validate or contradict what I think I’m hearing, I’d love to hear from you. Does this seem like actual communication from God? Or am I over-analyzing things and trying to connect unrelated events to force clarity? Should I just chill out and be patient? Cool my jets? Or should I blow it all up?

Should I quit my job?