On my way to a meeting today, I prayed. I asked God that He would give me the ability to NOT let my job take over the rest of my life. After a brief time of balance and perspective, I can feel myself slipping back into the trap of letting work dictate my mood, good or bad. Of allowing my performance at work to be a leading indicator of my worth. Of blurring the balance between work and life because I’m so concerned about stability and security. So, I prayed that God would help me keep it in perspective and that He would help me better understand how I was feeling lately and what I could do about it.

Less than 10 minutes later, I drove by a billboard on the side of the interstate promoting the Shriner’s Circus. The word CIRCUS was in big, bold letters and took up 80 percent of the sign. Now, to understand why I would view this as being significant, you need to press pause on this post and read a separate post that I wrote a little over two years ago about finding your circus.

Finding my circus is something I was actively meditating on for a while. But I let that focus slip away. It was just so frustrating. Trying to imagine what God’s plan for me really is. Particularly when it its my career, my financial livelihood, part of how I identify myself. I enjoy the line of work I’m in, for the most part. And most days, I’m happy with my current job. But deep down, God keeps reminding me that I haven’t found my circus yet. That I’m still getting distracted by the zoo.

There’s more to it than I’ve uncovered. Maybe it has nothing to do with my job. Maybe God just wants me to accept that my job is the zoo and will never be a circus at all. Or maybe there’s a circus out there that can fulfill my purpose while providing for my family. For now, I remain open go God’s voice in all that. And will continue to keep my eyes open.