I love music. Specifically, I love good music. Even more specifically, I love well-written lyrics. The perfect song can sum up exactly how you’re feeling in just a few short lines. It just captures the essence, and explains it better than you could have explained it with 25,000 words.

So, for today’s post, I’ll steal a few lines from a Coldplay tune that sums me up at the moment. The song is Fix You, and it starts like this:

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

There I am. Stuck in reverse. I am tired as I type this, but I can’t sleep. I feel like in my pursuit of life, I’m getting what I “want” but I’m so far away from what I need. I’m trying the best I can to gain better perspective, but there’s no success to be found.

I’m six weeks into a new job and asking myself if this is really what I want to do professionally. I’m as frustrated in my relationship with God as I’ve been in a long time. I just don’t hear Him right now. Not at all.

And worst of all, I’m not sure what to write on this blog. I’ve gone weeks between posts lately. Not because I was without access to a computer. I just haven’t had much to say. And I am making less than zero progress on my book at the moment either. Each time I open up the file, I just stare at the pages blankly and close my laptop with a sigh.

The Coldplay tune goes on to say that, “Lights will guide you home.” I just hope they get here soon, because in the meantime, I’m undoing a lot of progress as I drive backwards.

But thanks to Coldplay, I at least have a compelling prayer to pray for today.

Dear God. By your light, guide me home. Ignite my bones. Fix me. Amen.