As I mentioned in my previous post, I have a decision to make. I’ve been praying, stressing, debating, turning to scripture.

Daniel 2:20-23 is a passage that continues to pop up for me. I keep digging in. Staring at it. Searching for significance. I’ll copy and paste the verses below for easy reference.

Daniel answered and said: Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, for wisdom and might are His. And He changes the times and the seasons; He removes kings and raises up kings; He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding. He reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness, and light dwells within Him. I thank you and praise You, o God of my fathers; You have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of You, for You have made known to us the king’s demand.

At this point in time, God has given Daniel the power to see and interpret King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, which will allow him to basically be a hero and a prophet and a key part of God’s plan. He has given Daniel exactly what he asked for, and Daniel has received it fully.

What I immediately draw from it is that God will speak, reveal and equip. He will grant wisdom, he will guide us from dark into light. He will give us exactly what we ask for.

But many times I miss it. In fact, as I’ve been grappling with this major life decision the past several weeks, I don’t feel like I know what to do.

Why?

Well, I have three guesses. 

I don’t hear it. I am simply missing the communication, or I can’t fight my way through all the noise and distraction. I’m looking in the wrong direction.

I don’t get it. I’m not in a place in my faith walk where I can receive the message clearly. It is basically going right over my head. God says one thing, but I hear another.

I don’t buy it. I hear it, and I get it. I just don’t believe in it for whatever reason. I can’t internalize it, because I have doubts.

If I told you all of the signs I think I’ve received from God to help with my current decision, you’d probably laugh and say something like, “Oh ye of little faith.” I’ve all but paralyzed myself, because I don’t want to misread the signals. I don’t want to look back and realize I made some big mistake because I misunderstood God’s will. What if I’m not getting it?

My wife made a good point this morning, telling me that it was probably more important that I trusted God in the decision, no matter which way I went, and believed that He would see me through, whether it worked out the way I hoped or not. I know that to be true. But it hasn’t made the decision any easier. I’m not buying it, I suppose.

I’m continuing my prayer for wisdom, faith, perseverance and provision. Hoping I have a breakthrough and not a breakdown tonight. 🙂

The choice must be made tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to report back and share more specifics. Deep breaths in the meantime.