The first 18 verses of 1 Timothy set up a storyline that has helped me keep my focus amidst adversity, both of my own making as well as external forces. Here are the highlights:

The purpose of His commandment is love, “from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith.”

When I stray from that, I “have turned aside to idle talk…understanding neither what (I) say nor the things (I) affirm.”

The Lord has “enabled me” and has “counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.”

Although I was formerly a “blasphemer, a persecutor, an insolent man.”

His grace was “exceedingly abundant.”

That He might “show all long-suffering , as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him.”

That last part is what I’d like to focus on for a moment. Long-suffering simply means:  patiently enduring wrongs and difficulties.  I take this both to mean my ongoing failures in my pursuit of God as well as the obstacles, trials and challenges the world hurls my way. Patient endurance.

It’s not enough to simply endure, to take my lumps while I flail about or lash out. I need to have patience as well. Patience suggests that I won’t get rattled or thrown off my game regardless of what I encounter. That I will be calm, cool, collected. That I won’t react rashly to situations. That I won’t over-exert myself to combat the world around me. Slow, deliberate, measured, consistent, even. Those are the descriptors I associate with patience.  Endurance is the physical will to continue. Patience describes the mental state and attitude required for success.

Three things about this passage comfort me greatly. The first is that He has found me faithful and thus will enable me.  He will equip me with the strength and skills required for what He asks of me. Secondly, He’s more than capable of doing it. In fact, He’s “exceedingly” capable of doing it. Lastly, He is clear about what I should expect: long-suffering.

 You could look at that and be really pessimistic. Gee thanks. Long-suffering sounds like a ton-o-fun. You could internalize it only for how it sounds. Long. Suffering. Like when I had to watch Gone with the Wind, remastered for the big screen. With apologies to Clark Gable, Vivien Leigh and the vast majority of humans everywhere, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Most painful time I’ve spent in pursuit of entertainment. It felt like I was trapped in that seat for 48 hours straight.  

But I don’t look at it like that. When I look at it, it feels just like life. Everything meaningful you achieve here on Earth requires the proverbial blood, sweat and tears. You have to earn it. There is sacrifice. Pain. Commitment is required. Dare I say patient endurance? So why wouldn’t the same be true for pursuing God’s will? And since the payoff is far greater than anything to be achieved in this world, shouldn’t it require long-suffering at a different level?

Embracing that is powerful, because then the challenges just seem like hurdles that you get better and better at clearing. It’s like the burn you feel when doing sit ups or stretching yourself to run one more mile. Embracing my definition of long-suffering also takes away the pressure of perfection, because it suggests that you will consistently fall down, slide backwards, veer off course. It won’t be a straight line from here to there. And that’s okay. The point is that you have to methodically maintain your motivation and your momentum. Patiently endure.

I’ve found great comfort in that fact lately. I have been tripping up a lot. It’s like I’m so close, yet still so far away. But as I remind myself that God is currently “enabling me” and that long-suffering is just an expected part of the pattern, it’s enough for me to avoid being gone with the wind and instead get my second wind. To suffer long and endure patiently. With a better attitude than I had in that movie theatre. And a better outcome in The End.