Earlier this year, an acquaintance of mine was battling financial and family troubles and needed a place to stay for a while. I hardly knew him at the time but felt compelled to invite him into our home. I felt like God was leading me to do that, so I obeyed.

Yesterday, he moved out after staying with us for several months. Longer than he or I had anticipated. He was a gracious guest, and we hardly knew he was even living here. So, it really wasn’t an inconvenience.

While it feels good to help someone, this experience has really brought home how hard it is to give freely. You might remember my discussion on the concept of “giving freely” from an earlier post. It was step four on how to be a radical Christian. http://tinyurl.com/4q66caw

I felt God calling me to help this man. And I did it with an obedient heart. But I didn’t give freely, at least not at first. There was a part of me that expected we would develop a close friendship. But as I just mentioned, he made himself so scarce (I’m assuming so he wouldn’t impose on our family) that we maybe had 5 real conversations the entire time he lived here. I honestly don’t know him much better than I did when I opened the door to my home.

At first, that disappointed me. And I had to stop placing myself in the middle of what was supposed to be a selfless act. I had to reach a point where I expected absolutely nothing in return. To be content with the act of giving and not to place a personal agenda on it. This is harder said than done, as many of you out there can surely confirm.

To truly give without expectation is tremendously difficult. At least for me. On top of the expected friendship, deep down somewhere I was probably also seeking affirmation and approval from others who saw the “good work” I was doing. I’ve talked about my need for validation several times, so this should come as no surprise.  

It’s uncommon for us not to have our own agendas, no matter how pure our intentions are on the surface. Deep down, there’s probably some quid pro quo we’re after, something we’ll receive in return. I don’t want to discourage anyone out there from being charitable or doing good. I do suggest that when you are giving, try to become aware of what you might be looking for in return. If you can recognize it and then release it, you can truly “give freely” as we’re called to do. Otherwise, the danger is that the act of giving can create drama, hurt feelings and other negative consequences that are completely unnecessary.

As for me, my house guest has moved on to start a new chapter in his life. And in the end, I was able to give freely. It wasn’t easy, but one by one, I dismissed my internal agendas and allowed myself to give with no expectations: from my guest, my friends or even God. It feels much better that way, and I’m looking forward to putting it into practice more often.