I’ve been working on this post for a few weeks now. It’s been exceptionally hard to successfully fight for 15 minutes of uninterrupted writing time. Finally, I’m here. The good news is that God has continued to reinforce this content with me several times. It seems I’m exposed almost daily to a quote or situation or song where this is the featured subject matter. It’s like He doesn’t want me to forget the topic at hand before I sit down to capture it in written word. He knows me all too well.

We all have wounds. Delivered to us at an early age. Dug deeper over time and with experience. They run to the bone. They bleed. The real problem is we are experts at self medication. We cover these wounds. We numb the pain. We distract ourselves from them until we no longer can feel the gaping, gushing hole. Until we no longer even acknowledge they are part of who we are.

I’m learning that it is much better to expose wounds. It’s not always the best practice for physical ailments, but when it comes to spiritual aches, band aids and wraps and medicines only infect and disease. They cause wounds to fester. If we fail to expose our wounds to our consciousness and air them out, they will produce emotions that take over. Emotions require energy to sustain themselves. They feed off actions and reactions. This generates sin. It’s really a vicious cycle.

I unintentionally put my family in danger recently because of this very thing. I have a wound. I’ve discussed it before. It has everything to do with not measuring up. Needing validation. When I allow myself to suppress that wound, bury it, temporarily put it out of my consciousness, I breed emotions that demand actions to thrive. Those actions can range from shouting to outbursts to tears to self deprecating humor. I magnify obstacles and build mountains out of mole hills.

On the day in question, I freaked out just a bit about being late (mostly because of a string of dumb mistakes on my part) and made a few ill-advised maneuvers on the road in our swagger wagon (which is code for mini van. you must watch this video: http://tiny.cc/6b70p). In the process I found myself in a situation where a very scary guy was attempting to follow us home to enact revenge for my temporary NASCARlepsy.  For just a moment, I let rage consume me. And I put myself and my family in potential danger. If you suppress your wounds, you make them impact you more deeply. And they can set snowballs into motion that have the potential to generate avalanches.

If we maintain our awareness of the wounds we have, and the likely emotions that result, we can prevent some of the negative scenarios from playing out, or at least react and respond better amidst an emotional flare up.  We’ll understand the cause of what we’re feeling and see more clearly how to positively impact the effect.

James 1:23-24 – Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror. And, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

We have to be self-aware. We have to expose and embrace our wounds. Keep them top of mind so that we can readily understand the emotions when they present themselves. If you name your wound and keep it present in your mind, you limit the power it can hold over you.

Conversely, I’ve also been told by God in COUNTLESS ways as of late, that my wound can actually be my weapon.

I was recently in church for the first time in six weeks. Immediately, the worship leader shouted from the stage, “Our ministry can come from our misery.”

Shortly afterward, we sang a song called Beautiful Things (http://tiny.cc/t7se7).  Talk about powerful. There is a line in the song that asks, “Could a garden come up from this ground?” Of course the answer is yes. As the chorus goes…”You make beautiful things out of the dust. Beautiful things out of us.” This preceded a sermon on using spiritual gifts.

About the same time, a new friend shared a quote from Robert Bly on my blog in response to an earlier post I had written: “Where a man’s wound is, there he will find his genius.” 

And finally, just last night, I was reminded that my deepest wound can and will be my gold, my gift, my genius. Basically, God has stopped just short of renting out one of those billboards where He writes in white against a black background and offers a pithy quote. I thought I should go ahead and get this post up before He blew any of His advertising budget on me.

So I leave you with a few questions that I’ve begun asking myself. What sins are you feeding your emotions? What wounds are causing those emotions? What would it take for you to starve the emotions and remove the sin? How can you make this very thing in your life that breeds negativity and transform it into a positive and powerful force?

It’s a simple, three-step process. First, expose your wounds. Then, embrace your wounds. And finally, exploit your wounds for the genius they hold inside. Let your misery become your ministry.