I’ve been wrestling with a big decision lately. Finally, I made it. And I think, I think…I THINK, I made the right decision. I’m also afraid I made it for the wrong reasons.

So, my question is this. Can right be wrong? See, I feel like I made the decision out of fear and obligation, like it was just the right thing to do, the proper next step. What if I didn’t do this? Instead of making it with anticipation of how God will use it, I made it based off my own internal emotions. If it truly is the right thing for me, what God has next for me, am I actually being obedient by saying yes even though I have these fears? Does it count as obedience if my motives are admittedly a bit off? Will God use this? I know He can, obviously. But will He?

Like I said, this seems like a decision that will benefit me, that will be good for me in my walk. I have hefty reservations. I’m nervous. Some of that is natural, I’m sure. But at what point have I made the wrong decision even though it’s the right one? I’m a big believer that the end does NOT justify the means. Which is why I’m wrestling with this choice. I’m praying that God will use this in a positive way, even if I’m backing in to it instead of forward marching. I have to trust that at some level deep within, I’m truly being drawn to this but just can’t see it because of the layers of doubt and hesitation. I’m hoping that right can’t be wrong. At least not in this case.