I must confess that I am writing this only because I have to, only because I promised to be diligent and committed to feeding the lake. I am in a bad mood, in a funk, just not happy. Work was stressful, our family dinner out was stressful, and then shortly following dinner, the kids came unhinged, grew that second head and turned into deviant little beings that screech and howl and destroy anything within their wake. Ok, so tonight it was more of a second head that cries at anything that moves, full-scale meltdowns at a moment’s notice, basket cases in the blink of an eye.

Not. Happy.

So, after pouting around for a bit, and even getting into a slight altercation with a cd holder, I forced myself to sit down and write. I yanked my Bible off the shelf to complete my journaling from the book of Isaiah. I referenced my jumbled notes from the last section I had read (the last section by the way…yep, finally made it all the way through) and there was the scribble “64:9 – Don’t be angry.” Well, now that sounds like something I needed to hear. I flipped back to the passage.

The passage reads, “Do not be angry beyond measure, O Lord; do not remember our sins forever.”

What do I have to be angry about? If the Lord chooses not to be angry at all we’ve done, how do we justify being angry at our circumstances? Especially when I can’t even put my finger on exactly what created the anger I am feeling right now. Whatever it is, there is no doubt it is trivial in comparison with the sins of the world, with all that God has forgiven me for to date. I can’t imagine how mad I’d be if someone had done to me what I’ve done to God over the course of my lifetime.

So, am I still angry? Yes, indeed I am. I still want to throw something. But at least I have perspective. I know I’m being irrational. I know I need a chill pill. I know that I’m not helping my situation. So here’s a post, written while slightly punishing the keyboard. Somewhat cathartic. I’m just trying to be obedient. Next, I’ll try a few deep breaths and maybe an episode or two of The Office.  Thank God for Michael Scott.