I know  the term  “circling the drain” historically has a negative connotation, but for this discussion, I’m going to use it in a positive sense, so try and stay with me.

As I’ve been on this journey and documenting it through this blog, I’ve noticed some patterns, some themes, some familiar stops if you will. It started to feel as if I was on the verge of repeating myself every 4th post. I started to wonder if I was making any progress at all, since I didn’t seem to be moving forward, but instead just going around in circles. Was I just chasing my own tail here?

But after giving it more thought, I realized that this journey actually is not a straight line, or even a curvy, windy road. The destination isn’t some far off place. That’s just the the perspective of my own default settings. It’s just the way we are wired. In Crime and Punishment, the main character, Marmeladov Dostoevsky (no, I can’t pronounce it) says,  “Do you understand what it means when there is absolutely nowhere to go? For every man must have somewhere to go.” We all need to have a destination, an end point. We need to be able to chart our progress.  We default to thinking the journey closer to God requires a trek from where we are to where we need to be.

But it’s not about mile markers or odometers or an annoying voice in your dashboard (always with a slight British accent) that says, “You have arrived.” In actuality we aren’t headed to some far off place. We’re headed deeper within ourselves. God lives IN us, remember? He’s not out there somewhere waiting FOR us.

That’s why my blog is called the way to (t)here (although I couldn’t have articulated it as clearly even a few days ago). Where you are, how you got there and where you’re headed are all intertwined in who you are. The physical “where” isn’t really part of the equation.  It’s not the Old Testament, when God told Moses to meet him on top of a mountain (Exodus 24:12-18)  He is in us. We really don’t have to travel very far to get the conversation going. So it’s not a destination. It’s an ongoing dialogue, one that might never actually come to an end in our lifetime. It just gets deeper and deeper.

But first, before you can explore the depths, you have to circle the drain. You have to pass by and around all the obstacles, all the issues that slow you down and hold you back. You make laps in concentric circles that get tighter and tighter, like water going down a drain. You circle common ground, getting closer to the flow. That’s what I’ve been doing. Coming back around to a set of core issues, peeling the onion each time around, getting closer to fully understanding the complete picture, to entering the flow.

If we don’t reorient and understand it isn’t a straight line or a curvy road, we are going to get unnecessarily discouraged. If you’ve ever been lost in the woods, or in an unfamiliar place (and if not, you’ve surely seen it in movies and television), you know what happens. You’ll pass by the same building, or tree, or other landmark for the 5th time and realize you are going in circles, no closer to your destination than when you began. Possibly farther from it, since now you’re disoriented, turning in circles after all.  But realizing you are on the 5th lap around the same circle can be a very powerful thing when pursuing your walk with God. It means you are just that much closer to entering the flow.

I’m not sure how far I can stretch this analogy without breaking it, because obviously we don’t just head down the drain at some point with all our issues fixed and enjoy the ride to a better place and a deeper relationship. But I definitely feel it represents well what happens when you first commit to getting back in touch with God and working on your walk with Him. So hopefully, I’ve given you some comfort if you happen to be turning in circles at the moment. And helped you see that circling the drain can actually be a good thing. For me, it’s been very powerful. I’m excited to make another lap and get a little closer to the flow.