Isaiah 40:6 – A voice says, “Cry out.” And I said, “What shall I cry?”

A little later…

Lift your voice with a shout, lift it up and do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, “Here is your God!”

A little later…

Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded? He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

Ever been at a loss for words? Or even worse, been involved in an awkward conversation? With surprisingly few meaningful thoughts to share?

At first, as I read this and took it for what God was saying, I was highly disappointed. A year has passed since I decided to seriously pursue a deeper relationship with Him, and here I was soaking in a passage about not even knowing what to say to or about Him.  Not in an “awe of Him” kind of way, but in a “I really don’t know who you are” kind of way. That’s extra tough for me, because there was a time when I lived in Chicago that I was the resident “expert” in the office about religious topics and walking with God.  And somehow, I’ve regressed.

Those who know me well will tell you it’s hard to know me well. For whatever reason, I have a difficult time really getting to know people. On a surface level, fine. But not deeply in a “doing life” kind of way that I always hear about.  And I’ll tell you, the only thing worse than having an awkward, don’t know what to say, conversation with strangers or new acquaintances is having one with someone you’ve known for a while but really don’t know. We’ve all been there, especially us guys out there. It goes something like this:

“Hey.”

“Hey”

“Catch that game.”

“Yeah, crazy, huh?”

“So, how’s work?”

“Busy, you?’

“Same ole.”

And then, bring on the awkwardness.

I just confessed to not be an expert at building deep, significant relationships but what I feel fairly certain about is that they are hard work. And you can’t go through the motions, and stay in the shallow end of the pool. Otherwise, you can sit there forever and barely get wet.

I’m still thinking about exactly what God is saying here, whether he’s talking about my walk with Him or my walk with others. Doing life together. That sort of thing. Or if it’s all the above. Either way, I’m just going to stay open and await further instructions. 

In the meantime, Isaiah had more to say about growth.

26:16 – Lord, they came to you in distress, when you disciplined them, they could barely whisper a prayer.

37:27 – They are like plants in the field, like tender green shoots, like grass sprouting on the roof, scorched before it grows up.

37:30 – This year you will eat what grows by itself, and the second year what springs from that. But in the third year sow and reap, plant vineyards and eat their fruit. Once more, a remnant of the house of Judah will take root below and bear fruit above.

I suppose I am in that first year, still eating what grows by itself. I need to show patience and restraint and not try to skip year two. Just be thankful for what’s being fed to me. Because don’t we all want to be year three, where we are planting, creating, making things happen? Deeply involved. Knowing who God really is and what He has for us.  Reaping and sowing.

I also plan to open myself to deeper conversations with those who I should know better by now. Bring the awkwardness on.