We all have people we look up to, role models if you will. This can be a good thing, and a bad thing. Modeling the healthy behaviors of others provides an example, a path for us to accomplish similar positive things. Modeling can be a risk, because of the human element. Corporate sponsors spend billions banking on, or creating, role models for today’s youth. Tiger Woods. And in some cases, they make big time mistakes that can negatively impact the images of their companies, not to mention the psyches of today’s youth. Tiger Woods.

I have two goals related to role models. First, I am going to work on how I respond to the success of others so that I can be positively inspired at all. Secondly, I am committing to doing a better job in choosing who I allow to inspire and motivate me.

The How

It’s hard for me to hear stories of great success, personally, professionally, spiritually, without at least a hint of envy. I’ve made no secret that I want clarity in the purpose God has for me, and that I want to do something that will impact his kingdom. And that my delusions of grandeur are never far from reach. As a result, I usually do one of two things when I hear or witness someone being successful. Neither is healthy or positive. One reaction is envy.  I long for a story like theirs, to have my purpose clearly expressed for me and to have successfully produced something related to it. I get down because I don’t see the same fulfilled purpose in my life. And it’s frustrating, because it’s not just everyday people stories that do this to me. It’s the “This Week on Oprah” or the “New York Times Best Seller List” or the “Hi, I’m the Best Athlete Ever to Play My Sport” stories.  It’s the “Underdog Overcoming Great Odds or the “Gained Success Far Beyond My Years” and such. Why can’t I have that? Better question for reflection: Why do I need that so badly?

The second thing I will do upon hearing about success is compare. Given the struggles I’ve already expounded upon, I need to know how I stack up. If I can’t compare, I can’t win, and if I can’t win…well, anyway. Everything shouldn’t be a competition, but sometimes for me it always is. I’ll set my sights on someone or something that becomes a benchmark.  And I will hold myself to that expectation, to surpass that benchmark.

I hereby declare that I will do everything in my power to celebrate the success of others, to learn from it, to let it grow who I am. Not to let it deflate me or discourage me by forcing me to reflect on what I think I may or may not have accomplished.

I was headed to my computer to write this, to put it down and to, as I like to say, “book it” when my wife sidetracked me with a story from the conference she just attended. One of the keynotes had a very inspiring story, and she was still moved by it some two days since hearing it. In a soundbite, he went from being abandoned in a trailer in Virginia by a drug addict mother to touring several countries and continents for Nike as the Executive Director of Play and changing the lives of kids in all corners of the world. It was an amazing story. I was standing there listening, knowing I was on my way to write this post, and challenging myself, trying to audit my honest, knee jerk reaction to his story. I struggled a bit, but I was able to appreciate it for its own merit. I admit, there was a tinge inside, of wanting to have a similar story to tell. Obviously I have not had to rise up from such long odds, but I twist that in my own mind to beat myself up and say I have even less excuse not to have accomplished something “great” already. I was humbled by how quickly God did a “price check” on what I was selling, just to help me see whether I was serious or not.

The Who

My second problem is who I’m looking to for modeling. Since I am a driven person, with yardsticks and benchmarks and all the works. I usually look toward people who have a best-selling book or a rags to riches story or some phenomenal rise to star status. This puts unbelievable pressure on me, at least on a subconscious level, to validate my worth. It also does absolutely nothing for strengthening my walk with Christ. It automatically skews my perspective so that I disregard and dismiss anything that doesn’t seem like the next big thing. Making it improbable if not impossible for God to successfully share my purpose with me.

Moving forward, I am striving to look not toward people who are renowned and famous and shiny, but toward those people who are broken, honest and humbly following the call of God. People who are open with who they are, who let their wear and tear show, who aren’t ashamed of where they’ve come up short and aren’t offended by where others have come up short. Of course there is overlap with the happy, shiny people. Many times a broken person will rise from it and use the very thing they’ve always struggled with as their way to make a positive difference in the world.  So I’m not saying fame, and or fortune, will strike you from my most admired list moving forward.

My oldest son has a stuffed animal (woof woof, not making a barking sound, that’s the dog’s name), who goes everywhere with him. It’s his favorite toy. It’s dirty, beat up, torn, all but broken. In fact, I think it only has half a dozen “beanies” left in it, so maybe you could technically say it is broken. It means more to him than 100 shiny versions of it. It means more than bigger, cooler, newer versions of it. Its imperfections make it perfect. Those have been broken, who have allowed God to repair them and make them whole, and then who have been unselfish enough to allow the world to bear witness on it, those people are beautiful because of their brokenness. I think we all should long for that type of healing, that type of genuine relationship with God and with others. I know I do. That being said, we should look to others who are accomplishing it as a source of inspiration and motivation.

I poked some fun at Tiger earlier. I must apologize. Depending on how he approaches his life moving forward he could be both a bad AND a good example of a role model.  Just like every other human being walking the earth.  Corporations and the general public are going to be less likely to look forgive and forget, because he’s not quite as “shiny” as he used to be. But he still has the potential to produce beauty from this brokenness.  Just like every other human being walking the earth. Ah, the power of redemption.