I had a good conversation recently with a close friend of mine who has struggled with alcohol. We talked about our relationships with God, the journey I am pursuing, the recent victories in his life. We talked in detail about how selfish we are in our flesh. How selfishness is at the core of most transgressions. How it so easily gets in the way of the work God is trying to do in our lives.

I have my own struggles with selfishness. I’ve mentioned in past posts how I’ve battled my own agenda while pursuing a walk with God.  That makes me wonder if I will be ok if my assignment from God is to be a supportive husband, a loving father, a passionate follower of Christ and nothing more.  What if I am to be an inspiration for someone, instead of ten thousand someones.  Will I accept that? Will it be okay? After all, in my view, these things are the price of entry. I mean, of course I would support my wife, love my kids…Surely God has some other great adventure he needs me for, right? Can’t you just hear the selfishness?

I also recently wrote about the fear of committing to what God has in store for you because you don’t know what that will be, and it might be something big and scary.  But I think my biggest fear is that my calling might not feel like a great adventure. I think we usually associate the call from God much like signing up for the armed forces. Where will we be deployed? Where are the bad guys, and how are we going to take them down? Where’s the mountain to climb? The ocean to cross? You’ve seen the commercials…looking for a few good men, the dude hanging off the side of a cliff…

I keep assuming that I am going to be asked to slay some dragon, to win some war, to lead some movement. It may very well be that the army, navy, airforce and marines function just fine without me. The hardest thing for me to remember is that first and foremost, God wants a relationship with me, to be close with me, for me to know Him. That is indeed a great adventure, one that’s wider than any ocean and taller than any mountain. So, my goal is to set fear aside, and be ready and willing for something big and scary, or obedient and content with something the world would tell me is not so exceptional. I just have to keep asking myself whose approval I’m seeking, whose agenda I’m following and whose definition of “great adventure” I’m using.