If I’m truly born again, saved, redeemed, shouldn’t evil desires be a thing of the past? If I am praying for help, seeking assistance with transgressions in my life, but at the same time still lusting for the very sin I’m trying to overcome, am I being insincere? How do I overcome it? What’s my motivation? I think it’s important to understand that the need for the sin is masking a need within.

It’s sort of like a medication. Sin is the symptom, so I need to get to the source. I need to stop dwelling on the sin and trying to battle it head on. Instead I need to focus on what’s behind it. What’s driving it. What’s crying out deeper within me. I also need to get better at understanding how to give it up to God. I think we tend to suppress when we need to release. I tend to suppress it, to push it way down and make it be “out of sight, out of mind.” Instead, I’d be better served to release it, to let it go, to truly give it up to God.

Why is that so hard by the way? It’s so much easier just to stuff it down deep inside and to wrestle with the sin, the symptom and try to NOT do it for a day, and then two, and then three, until we “master it” and then we’re cured. That is so counterproductive as I’m learning. Pointless. A losing battle.  I am still dealing with every “sin” I was dealing with when I embarked on this journey months ago. Mostly because I always default to suppressing the issue instead of releasing it.